Today is PBear's birthday!!! As I opened his letter, I had the biggest smile on my face because this week's drawing was extra special... clouds in the sky, each with part of my name in them (he affectionately refers to me as Dear Doctor Daughter Bear Carla McClellan Lewis in whatever order we choose,) and written about the clouds is a big LYPTS... Love you past the Sky. Yes, PBear, I love you way past the sky.
Then I realized it is PBear's birthday! Oh no! How did I not know this? Did I know and forget? I know he celebrates another special day later this year, but I did not know today was such a big day. Then I go back to smiles, because I received PBear mail on his birthday :) I love him. Truly.
So, PBear, if you are reading this, I will shut the committee down that tells me I am a horrible DBear, and just smile, knowing I can wish you a happy birthday from afar! Big Bear hugs to you, and LYPTS
FLY
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Spotlight Tuesday! (My favorite Author...)
When I began the journey of the blogosphere, just two short weeks ago, I decided to have daily themes. I am unsure how often I will adhere to said themes, but today is spotlight Tuesday... a blog written about someone I admire, love, find interesting, or find it necessary to rave about. Today is for one of my favorite authors. She is with me almost daily... either when I am disciplined enough to read my meditation book or when I come to a challenge.... I know most often where to turn. Melody Beattie, author of numerous spiritual books (I never liked the term "self help"), namely CoDependent No More, The Language of Letting Go, and my personal favorite, 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact: Meditations for Connecting with God, Self & Others.
To list everything I love about this author would shortchange her and myself, but I will simply say she puts the most difficult, annoying, or outright disturbing life situations in a way I can handle them... by focusing on the values and lessons that come from the challenges. She combines 12 Step programs, Eastern religions, and Christian ideals into the most thought provoking and inspiring works, all of which help countless readers from all walks of life. What is most appreciated by myself is how Ms. Beattie uses her own life experiences to help others- whether it be divorce, addiction, the loss of a child, financial struggles, she does not sugar coat her own pain to spare her ego; rather, she uses these struggles to show readers how there is a way to "deal," not only "deal" but find that special place. That place which is hard to describe, but where I know I am going to be all right. The way to this place comes as she puts it... with my own twists thrown into the paraphrase... it's finding a balance between working hard and letting go; finding a place where everything is okay, even the painful times in life; allowing ourselves to leave childish behaviors behind, but become childlike; most importantly finding the place of Conscious Contact, Nirvana, contentment, whatever you would like to call it, and doing so by practicing simple values in life.
Another joy I have found is her writings are applicable to ALL. How many times have I heard people of various religions say, "I wish everyone had our religion" or of 12 step programs say, "I wish everyone had our steps?" Fortunately, everyone can have all of the ideals underlying each of these religions or programs. All it takes is discipline, inquiry into oneself, and an openness to seek and soak up the personal experiences and wisdom of a person like Melody Beattie. My days go a lot better when she joins my morning time, it's just a matter of practicing this habit on a regular basis.
It would be remiss of me not to mention who gave me my first introduction to this author. So thank you, soul sista, you know who you are. I see our relationship, and many others, flourish from incorporating these daily principles and values into our own lives.
So there you have it, my spotlight Tuesday. May you all be blessed and don't forget to FLY
To list everything I love about this author would shortchange her and myself, but I will simply say she puts the most difficult, annoying, or outright disturbing life situations in a way I can handle them... by focusing on the values and lessons that come from the challenges. She combines 12 Step programs, Eastern religions, and Christian ideals into the most thought provoking and inspiring works, all of which help countless readers from all walks of life. What is most appreciated by myself is how Ms. Beattie uses her own life experiences to help others- whether it be divorce, addiction, the loss of a child, financial struggles, she does not sugar coat her own pain to spare her ego; rather, she uses these struggles to show readers how there is a way to "deal," not only "deal" but find that special place. That place which is hard to describe, but where I know I am going to be all right. The way to this place comes as she puts it... with my own twists thrown into the paraphrase... it's finding a balance between working hard and letting go; finding a place where everything is okay, even the painful times in life; allowing ourselves to leave childish behaviors behind, but become childlike; most importantly finding the place of Conscious Contact, Nirvana, contentment, whatever you would like to call it, and doing so by practicing simple values in life.
Another joy I have found is her writings are applicable to ALL. How many times have I heard people of various religions say, "I wish everyone had our religion" or of 12 step programs say, "I wish everyone had our steps?" Fortunately, everyone can have all of the ideals underlying each of these religions or programs. All it takes is discipline, inquiry into oneself, and an openness to seek and soak up the personal experiences and wisdom of a person like Melody Beattie. My days go a lot better when she joins my morning time, it's just a matter of practicing this habit on a regular basis.
It would be remiss of me not to mention who gave me my first introduction to this author. So thank you, soul sista, you know who you are. I see our relationship, and many others, flourish from incorporating these daily principles and values into our own lives.
So there you have it, my spotlight Tuesday. May you all be blessed and don't forget to FLY
Monday, August 22, 2011
Words to live by...
Discipline. Determination. These will need to be tattooed to the backs of my eye lids for the next four months. Typically, I am a fairly disciplined and determined person. I have been able to force myself to do the unimaginable... waking up at 4am to go serve coffee to irate customers, carrying a full time course load while working multiple jobs, waking up at 4am to workout daily, even prepping for the most grueling procedures... including drinking large amounts of disgusting fluid and not eating for 48 hours in order to have a tube shoved up my rear. All because those were things I had to do at the time. Either for monetary gain, physical or emotional health, all done as a means to survive. Then there are the tasks I take on that are not related to survival in any way, I just do them because I want to. Everything I do, regardless of survival or want, I do it with a certain amount of discipline and a great amount of determination.
Today reminded me how much I value these assets in my life, and how completely necessary they will be this semester. I find myself taking a full load of online graduate level classes, working two jobs, and carrying on with other various tasks (a previous blog discussed my current "busyness" so I will spare the space.) Not only will this semester require an increased level of mental attention, it will also require the physical.
This is where I get off track. I can do the mental for prolonged periods of time. I have done it. For years. The physical is another story. I will decide I am going to eat right, clean up my lifestyle, work out on a regular basis, and this will last for about two weeks. Recently, I decided I will limit caffeine, processed foods, starches, and sugars. For the entire semester. I started on Thursday and feel great. The semester started today. I can only hope I will have the amount of determination and discipline required to carry on. Not just to "look" good, but more so to feel good, to BE healthy. To eliminate symptoms of gastritis, sugar hangovers, caffeine induced nausea, withdrawal induced migraines, etc. Because if I am going to survive the mental, I am finding I must take care of the physical.
So, friends, these are my words. Not just for today, but every day. Discipline, determination. Words to live by. Fly
Today reminded me how much I value these assets in my life, and how completely necessary they will be this semester. I find myself taking a full load of online graduate level classes, working two jobs, and carrying on with other various tasks (a previous blog discussed my current "busyness" so I will spare the space.) Not only will this semester require an increased level of mental attention, it will also require the physical.
This is where I get off track. I can do the mental for prolonged periods of time. I have done it. For years. The physical is another story. I will decide I am going to eat right, clean up my lifestyle, work out on a regular basis, and this will last for about two weeks. Recently, I decided I will limit caffeine, processed foods, starches, and sugars. For the entire semester. I started on Thursday and feel great. The semester started today. I can only hope I will have the amount of determination and discipline required to carry on. Not just to "look" good, but more so to feel good, to BE healthy. To eliminate symptoms of gastritis, sugar hangovers, caffeine induced nausea, withdrawal induced migraines, etc. Because if I am going to survive the mental, I am finding I must take care of the physical.
So, friends, these are my words. Not just for today, but every day. Discipline, determination. Words to live by. Fly
Saturday, August 20, 2011
tweedle dee, tweedle dum, and tweedle ditz
I am a day late. It seems that having a daily theme for my blogs doesn't go so well, but I can't resist adding my commentary to this week's blogworthy news stories. I can already tell that I will be including more and more political stories, as I cannot resist adding my commentary to the GOP players of late, their remarks, skewed views of our nation, and downright lunacy. Yes, there will be 15 months of news stories reporting on each white-house hopeful, and I am sure each of them will have adequate time to apologize for harmful statements and/or mistakes, but I must take my time to comment. It's just who I am... So this week in the news is dedicated to some of these individuals...
Rick Santorum- I thought I would like him. I really did. After all, he agrees that the middle class has basically been screwed by the current HDIC- Head (insert your choice of expletive) In Charge- but Rick Santorum went a lot further than protesting lies and corruption. He has said the decline of our country can be attributed to arguments over marriage (same-sex) and abortion... well, well, well, Rick, I did not realize those who were fighting for same sex marriage are also the ones who cheat on their taxes, commit fraud, steal from the elderly, etc. etc. Oh yeah, they don't! The fiscally corrupt are on your side representing congress and running the state of Florida (Rick Scott, for one...)
Rick Perry- What is it about the name "Rick" ugh. This guy cannot be direct to save his life. He would be okay with same sex marriage, yet would also be okay with changing the constitution to add the wording "hetrosexual" to the definition of marriage. Lies, lies, lies. What can we expect from a guy who leads a "religious group" and is trying to combine organized religion with politics... Scary.
Michele Bachman- This woman cannot possibly be as dumb as she appears. Celebrating Elvis' birthday on the anniversary of his death? And claim that you are a Doctor? PhD does not equal JD, does it? This one just continues to baffle me. I think she needs new staff members to help her out, or she could just keep shooting herself in the foot, which is fine with me. Honestly, this woman scares me more than any of them. I pray the American people will see right through her.
So that's all I've got today. The rest of my day will be dedicated to cooking, cleaning, rollerblading, and relaxing. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and as always, remember to FLY
Rick Santorum- I thought I would like him. I really did. After all, he agrees that the middle class has basically been screwed by the current HDIC- Head (insert your choice of expletive) In Charge- but Rick Santorum went a lot further than protesting lies and corruption. He has said the decline of our country can be attributed to arguments over marriage (same-sex) and abortion... well, well, well, Rick, I did not realize those who were fighting for same sex marriage are also the ones who cheat on their taxes, commit fraud, steal from the elderly, etc. etc. Oh yeah, they don't! The fiscally corrupt are on your side representing congress and running the state of Florida (Rick Scott, for one...)
Rick Perry- What is it about the name "Rick" ugh. This guy cannot be direct to save his life. He would be okay with same sex marriage, yet would also be okay with changing the constitution to add the wording "hetrosexual" to the definition of marriage. Lies, lies, lies. What can we expect from a guy who leads a "religious group" and is trying to combine organized religion with politics... Scary.
Michele Bachman- This woman cannot possibly be as dumb as she appears. Celebrating Elvis' birthday on the anniversary of his death? And claim that you are a Doctor? PhD does not equal JD, does it? This one just continues to baffle me. I think she needs new staff members to help her out, or she could just keep shooting herself in the foot, which is fine with me. Honestly, this woman scares me more than any of them. I pray the American people will see right through her.
So that's all I've got today. The rest of my day will be dedicated to cooking, cleaning, rollerblading, and relaxing. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and as always, remember to FLY
Thursday, August 18, 2011
PBear Mail- perfectly on time...
YES, what a great morning! I saved my PBear letter to read this morning for a change, as an attempt to start my day off on a better note... this week has been just a weird week, so I thought his letter in the morning would help. It most certainly did. As always.
The synchronicity of my life and the life of my Bear never ceases to amaze me... we rarely speak on the phone, he does not facebook or email, we simply have our weekly letters to one another... yet he always writes exactly what I need to read. Without fail. It is almost as if there is a recording device in my brain with a livefeed to my PBear's heart... this would be a scary thought! No heart attacks allowed :)
So today... I actually woke up feeling decent. I checked my facebook feed while having my tea... I will write about my switching from coffee to tea when it actually sticks... before sitting down with my letter, pad of paper, and pen. I typically check my facebook feed for news or traffic, but I noticed a childhood friend had quoted the Shack... "Life takes a little bit of time and a lot of relationship." Now I have not seen references to the Shack in over a year. But this quote seemed appropriate. So I was ready to write it in my response to PBear letter.
First, I had to read the letter. Lo and behold, PBear mentions the Shack in his letter... "..if anything matters, then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the Universe changes. Every time you reach out to touch a heart or a life, the world changes. With every kindness or service, seen or unseen, God's purposes are accomplished and nothing will be the same again." (THE SHACK... sounds like Ram Dass as PBear says)...
Not only is this interesting that he would mention this at a time I need to hear this, the fact that he is reading the Shack is the kicker. He and I are so similar when it comes to organized religion and sometimes share each others cynicism. See, it took me quite some time to read the Shack because I had this preconceived idea and notion that it would be like church, or confuse me, condemn me, and chastise. Those of you who have read this book know that this is nowhere near the case. Those of you who have not read the book, please do. Here's a very small giveaway- God is a large, black woman called "Poppa" and Jesus is a Palestinian labor, and the Holy Spirit is sort of Hindu... if this doesn't scream open-mindedness, I am not sure what will! Read it :)
Back to the quotes mentioned, I must reflect on PBear's quote... from the Shack... At first, I was thinking, that's what I need to do... I need to re-read the Shack. Which maybe I do. But then I thought, let me re-read the quote... yes. This is it. This is what has been lacking in my life lately. Reaching out, taking an action, being kind. Sure, I do this in some ways, but not nearly as much as I once did. I remember the days where I was of service every single day... my life felt complete, I felt accomplished, I was seeing others grow and glow. Maybe what has been missing since I moved to Tampa is I have substituted that with work, graduate school, TV time with China (hey, don't judge), general activities that revolve around me and not enough activities that revolve around you... or you... or you... You get the point. So thank you to PBear and the Shack this morning for opening my eyes. I will return to my "helper" roots one way or another. For this is when the world changes, my inner world, and outer world, this is when purpose is accomplished...
Speaking of, this was my quote to myself today... it just appeared... "It seems we are overly distracted by personalities and politics when really we shall be eagerly directed by principles and purpose" Again... the timing... very good stuff
FLY <3
The synchronicity of my life and the life of my Bear never ceases to amaze me... we rarely speak on the phone, he does not facebook or email, we simply have our weekly letters to one another... yet he always writes exactly what I need to read. Without fail. It is almost as if there is a recording device in my brain with a livefeed to my PBear's heart... this would be a scary thought! No heart attacks allowed :)
So today... I actually woke up feeling decent. I checked my facebook feed while having my tea... I will write about my switching from coffee to tea when it actually sticks... before sitting down with my letter, pad of paper, and pen. I typically check my facebook feed for news or traffic, but I noticed a childhood friend had quoted the Shack... "Life takes a little bit of time and a lot of relationship." Now I have not seen references to the Shack in over a year. But this quote seemed appropriate. So I was ready to write it in my response to PBear letter.
First, I had to read the letter. Lo and behold, PBear mentions the Shack in his letter... "..if anything matters, then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the Universe changes. Every time you reach out to touch a heart or a life, the world changes. With every kindness or service, seen or unseen, God's purposes are accomplished and nothing will be the same again." (THE SHACK... sounds like Ram Dass as PBear says)...
Not only is this interesting that he would mention this at a time I need to hear this, the fact that he is reading the Shack is the kicker. He and I are so similar when it comes to organized religion and sometimes share each others cynicism. See, it took me quite some time to read the Shack because I had this preconceived idea and notion that it would be like church, or confuse me, condemn me, and chastise. Those of you who have read this book know that this is nowhere near the case. Those of you who have not read the book, please do. Here's a very small giveaway- God is a large, black woman called "Poppa" and Jesus is a Palestinian labor, and the Holy Spirit is sort of Hindu... if this doesn't scream open-mindedness, I am not sure what will! Read it :)
Back to the quotes mentioned, I must reflect on PBear's quote... from the Shack... At first, I was thinking, that's what I need to do... I need to re-read the Shack. Which maybe I do. But then I thought, let me re-read the quote... yes. This is it. This is what has been lacking in my life lately. Reaching out, taking an action, being kind. Sure, I do this in some ways, but not nearly as much as I once did. I remember the days where I was of service every single day... my life felt complete, I felt accomplished, I was seeing others grow and glow. Maybe what has been missing since I moved to Tampa is I have substituted that with work, graduate school, TV time with China (hey, don't judge), general activities that revolve around me and not enough activities that revolve around you... or you... or you... You get the point. So thank you to PBear and the Shack this morning for opening my eyes. I will return to my "helper" roots one way or another. For this is when the world changes, my inner world, and outer world, this is when purpose is accomplished...
Speaking of, this was my quote to myself today... it just appeared... "It seems we are overly distracted by personalities and politics when really we shall be eagerly directed by principles and purpose" Again... the timing... very good stuff
FLY <3
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Balance
My word of the week is Balance...
Balance: n. 1. a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight or amount. 2. mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.
Wow. As much as I use this word, I was surprised by definition #2, and how much I actually crave that. To some, I seem to have this steadiness and calm behavior and judgment in my life; to others, the know how "off the wall" I can be.
The reason for choosing this word was twofold. I was thinking about how much the ropes course this weekend required balance. At one point in my life, I had zero (physical) balance. I would attempt to stand on one leg and I would immediately lose it. Things have changed a great deal. I can now stand on one leg for an extraordinary amount of time. How did I get there? Practice. Practice. Practice. I took yoga, I trained in the gym, I used the stability ball, I used the half ball (that is my favorite.) At times, I would fall, in front of others, and feel embarrassed. Yet, I kept practicing. Thank goodness I did, as I would have not been able to do parts of the ropes course without said balance.
The behavioral and emotional balance is my main challenge. There's the balance of my life activities and the balance of my emotions. I am hoping with practice, I can become as "skilled" in these areas as I am in the physical, but I question when this day will come.
Yesterday, I was looking at my fall schedule. I will be in full time online graduate classes, working 30 hours a week (two different projects), volunteering on another project, heading up the BHSO (the organization I decided to become president of... smart one), working on our local tasks forces, and attempting to take a couple of trips... one for a professional conference, one for a serenity weekend, and hopefully a couple of football games. Oh, and I will attempt to eat right, exercise, and sleep with this schedule. The funny thing is, I never once considered these ALL together when signing up for all of the above. I didn't consider the whole plate and what might cause it to tip over. This seems to be an ongoing pattern in my life. I get excited about various tasks, I sign up, for them all, then I sit down and look at my life and say "Oh crap, what happened?" Yes. Balance is missing. Suggestions? Other than an amazing organizer and calendar alerts...
I just realized the emotional balance ties into all of the above. If I am on an even keel emotionally, I would probably not get in these "tackle the world spots," nor would I sit down one day and be overwhelmed by all I decided to tackle. The emotionally balanced person would more than likely evaluate these things as they come, and not decide on pure emotion. They would learn to think rationally... Maybe? Who knows.
Today, I just know I will be attempting some balance in my life. I will be pulling out the schedules, adjusting them all, keeping my "me" time in there somewhere, and prioritizing my life. I must. After all, I would like to survive graduate school, balanced and steady, and continue to Fly...
Balance: n. 1. a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight or amount. 2. mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.
Wow. As much as I use this word, I was surprised by definition #2, and how much I actually crave that. To some, I seem to have this steadiness and calm behavior and judgment in my life; to others, the know how "off the wall" I can be.
The reason for choosing this word was twofold. I was thinking about how much the ropes course this weekend required balance. At one point in my life, I had zero (physical) balance. I would attempt to stand on one leg and I would immediately lose it. Things have changed a great deal. I can now stand on one leg for an extraordinary amount of time. How did I get there? Practice. Practice. Practice. I took yoga, I trained in the gym, I used the stability ball, I used the half ball (that is my favorite.) At times, I would fall, in front of others, and feel embarrassed. Yet, I kept practicing. Thank goodness I did, as I would have not been able to do parts of the ropes course without said balance.
The behavioral and emotional balance is my main challenge. There's the balance of my life activities and the balance of my emotions. I am hoping with practice, I can become as "skilled" in these areas as I am in the physical, but I question when this day will come.
Yesterday, I was looking at my fall schedule. I will be in full time online graduate classes, working 30 hours a week (two different projects), volunteering on another project, heading up the BHSO (the organization I decided to become president of... smart one), working on our local tasks forces, and attempting to take a couple of trips... one for a professional conference, one for a serenity weekend, and hopefully a couple of football games. Oh, and I will attempt to eat right, exercise, and sleep with this schedule. The funny thing is, I never once considered these ALL together when signing up for all of the above. I didn't consider the whole plate and what might cause it to tip over. This seems to be an ongoing pattern in my life. I get excited about various tasks, I sign up, for them all, then I sit down and look at my life and say "Oh crap, what happened?" Yes. Balance is missing. Suggestions? Other than an amazing organizer and calendar alerts...
I just realized the emotional balance ties into all of the above. If I am on an even keel emotionally, I would probably not get in these "tackle the world spots," nor would I sit down one day and be overwhelmed by all I decided to tackle. The emotionally balanced person would more than likely evaluate these things as they come, and not decide on pure emotion. They would learn to think rationally... Maybe? Who knows.
Today, I just know I will be attempting some balance in my life. I will be pulling out the schedules, adjusting them all, keeping my "me" time in there somewhere, and prioritizing my life. I must. After all, I would like to survive graduate school, balanced and steady, and continue to Fly...
Weekend recap
So my weekend was not spent blogging, nor did I post yesterday, so I will have to catch up.. I've already been called a slacker. Truth is, I am home from work sick today and don't really know what to do with my time, so may as well blog
This weekend was fabulous. I have a special red headed angel in my life and she was able to come to Tampa. She is 8 and reminds me how awesome spending time with children is and how good of a mom I will (ONE DAY) be, but also that today is not that day. She reminds me how innocent we seem to start out in this life and how an inquisitive mind is always curious, always questioning, always in awe... I love that.
Our weekend consisted of a lot of swim time, a trip to the zoo, more swim time, movies, and a trip to the ropes course at MOSI. It completely baffles me how the children at the ropes course seem to have no fear whatsoever and us adults hesitate when it starts to get scary and uncomfortable. Maybe this is how I have become so "set in my ways" the older I get, because I like comfort. I like knowing and feeling like I have an iota of control. Ok, a lot of control. So I allowed myself to be free this weekend, and allowed Brei to be free this weekend, to do whatever she wanted to do and live it up. I have to say, it was one of the greatest weekends since living here.
So that was my weekend, there is much more, but I have Monday and Tuesday to catch up on as well. I know Saturday and Sunday were for creative/inspiring days, so I will have to come back to this post later and add some pictures with a few Carla's creative twists to them. As far as my inspiration, that came from my red headed angel. She inspires me to be better, to do better. To quit smoking, to let go, to be free. And, possibly, to one day have children of my own. In the mean time, I am considering big brothers/big sisters, or guardian ad litem... just have to make sure I can commit the time to taking on such a task before signing up. More will be revealed.
Grateful I took this weekend to FLY <3
This weekend was fabulous. I have a special red headed angel in my life and she was able to come to Tampa. She is 8 and reminds me how awesome spending time with children is and how good of a mom I will (ONE DAY) be, but also that today is not that day. She reminds me how innocent we seem to start out in this life and how an inquisitive mind is always curious, always questioning, always in awe... I love that.
Our weekend consisted of a lot of swim time, a trip to the zoo, more swim time, movies, and a trip to the ropes course at MOSI. It completely baffles me how the children at the ropes course seem to have no fear whatsoever and us adults hesitate when it starts to get scary and uncomfortable. Maybe this is how I have become so "set in my ways" the older I get, because I like comfort. I like knowing and feeling like I have an iota of control. Ok, a lot of control. So I allowed myself to be free this weekend, and allowed Brei to be free this weekend, to do whatever she wanted to do and live it up. I have to say, it was one of the greatest weekends since living here.
So that was my weekend, there is much more, but I have Monday and Tuesday to catch up on as well. I know Saturday and Sunday were for creative/inspiring days, so I will have to come back to this post later and add some pictures with a few Carla's creative twists to them. As far as my inspiration, that came from my red headed angel. She inspires me to be better, to do better. To quit smoking, to let go, to be free. And, possibly, to one day have children of my own. In the mean time, I am considering big brothers/big sisters, or guardian ad litem... just have to make sure I can commit the time to taking on such a task before signing up. More will be revealed.
Grateful I took this weekend to FLY <3
Friday, August 12, 2011
This week in the news...
Friday's theme is my top 5 (or 10 if I am feeling ambitious) news stories...
Everyone can already expect politics to be in these posts, but I will have 15 months to blog on that topic, so I will refrain.... Ok, maybe not...
#5. Iowa. Wow... talk about a headache. If this is all the GOP has to offer, the conservatives are in trouble. There are a couple I could deal with... Ron Paul, possibly Herman (I need to study him more), and I like Santorum's quote "leadership over showmanship" but that is all last night seemed to be.. showmanship.. Not who will do what and how, but what isn't being done now... complain, complain, complain... and one of the frontrunners is in Congress and has the power to change the economy NOW... so why isn't she? Because she is being submissive to her husband? Because she is too focused on "conversion therapy" for gays? Because she is too busy covering up her lies about receiving federal funding or ignoring those questions? God bless the good ol USA... Oh, and I will not even begin to speak of Gov. Perry, the "minister" who will announce his candidacy on Saturday... are we in church? Or are we focusing on government? Nothing against the church, but I am all about separation...
#4. Facebook has access to our contact list... Are we that surprised? Facebook knows everything about us. My advice: do the best you can to remove your numbers from lists, keep your network secure, and may the force be with you...
#3. True story... olympic hopeful is kicked off of U.S. ski team for urinating on an 11 year old girl. Yes. 18 year old Robert "Sandy" Vietz was too drunk to make it to the restroom on a flight from Portland to NY and peed on a sleeping child. Wow. Was he kicked off for drunkenness or for urinating? You decide... "I was drunk. I did not realize I was 'pissing' on her leg" ... Nice choice of words buddy. You get my top 5 because of the "shocker" fact. Enjoy your future... and if drinking continues to be a problem, find the nearest AA meeting..
#2. The Postal Service may be cutting another 120,000 jobs. The reason this is in my top 5 is because the postal service was good to my father. They employeed many Vietnam Vets when they came back and I hate to see them struggling like this. Also, I rely on my PBear every Wednesday and do not wish to suffer any delays :)
#1. For this week's #1 story, which just blows my mind, 30 US soldiers killed in Afghanistan after their helicopter was shot down... the kicker... this helicopter was carrying members of the Seals 6 (same team credited for "getting" bin Laden.) At first, I thought, is this some kind of universal karma? Or is it more? Was there a conspiracy? Or was it just wrong place, wrong time? I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts of this one!
And that's my 5 blogworthy news stories of the week. I could add much more, but I have house cleaning to do and company coming in town. So feel free to comment. If you do not have a google account, you can always post as "anonymous" and sign your name. Or not. Up to you.
As always, have a great day, and don't forget to FLY <3
Everyone can already expect politics to be in these posts, but I will have 15 months to blog on that topic, so I will refrain.... Ok, maybe not...
#5. Iowa. Wow... talk about a headache. If this is all the GOP has to offer, the conservatives are in trouble. There are a couple I could deal with... Ron Paul, possibly Herman (I need to study him more), and I like Santorum's quote "leadership over showmanship" but that is all last night seemed to be.. showmanship.. Not who will do what and how, but what isn't being done now... complain, complain, complain... and one of the frontrunners is in Congress and has the power to change the economy NOW... so why isn't she? Because she is being submissive to her husband? Because she is too focused on "conversion therapy" for gays? Because she is too busy covering up her lies about receiving federal funding or ignoring those questions? God bless the good ol USA... Oh, and I will not even begin to speak of Gov. Perry, the "minister" who will announce his candidacy on Saturday... are we in church? Or are we focusing on government? Nothing against the church, but I am all about separation...
#4. Facebook has access to our contact list... Are we that surprised? Facebook knows everything about us. My advice: do the best you can to remove your numbers from lists, keep your network secure, and may the force be with you...
#3. True story... olympic hopeful is kicked off of U.S. ski team for urinating on an 11 year old girl. Yes. 18 year old Robert "Sandy" Vietz was too drunk to make it to the restroom on a flight from Portland to NY and peed on a sleeping child. Wow. Was he kicked off for drunkenness or for urinating? You decide... "I was drunk. I did not realize I was 'pissing' on her leg" ... Nice choice of words buddy. You get my top 5 because of the "shocker" fact. Enjoy your future... and if drinking continues to be a problem, find the nearest AA meeting..
#2. The Postal Service may be cutting another 120,000 jobs. The reason this is in my top 5 is because the postal service was good to my father. They employeed many Vietnam Vets when they came back and I hate to see them struggling like this. Also, I rely on my PBear every Wednesday and do not wish to suffer any delays :)
#1. For this week's #1 story, which just blows my mind, 30 US soldiers killed in Afghanistan after their helicopter was shot down... the kicker... this helicopter was carrying members of the Seals 6 (same team credited for "getting" bin Laden.) At first, I thought, is this some kind of universal karma? Or is it more? Was there a conspiracy? Or was it just wrong place, wrong time? I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts of this one!
And that's my 5 blogworthy news stories of the week. I could add much more, but I have house cleaning to do and company coming in town. So feel free to comment. If you do not have a google account, you can always post as "anonymous" and sign your name. Or not. Up to you.
As always, have a great day, and don't forget to FLY <3
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Lesson of the week... more of a ponderable really...
This week's lesson is one I probably learn every week... Or at least think on every week...
"Textversation..."
is not a reliable method of communication,
and should not be treated as such...
Can lead to rounds and rounds of confusion...
rather than real, genuine conversation...
How many times does someone misread a text, or have their text misunderstood? The tone, inflection, just missing punctuation can make all the difference in the world. Not to mention the fact that a text is not guaranteed... when I am talking to someone, I know they are there. I know they hear me. I do not have to assume they are reading the text and hesitating or ignoring me. I get an automatic answer. Texts? Those can take hours. That then leads to more uncertainty... did I say something wrong? Are they ignoring me? Did they get my text? Did I send it to the wrong person? My goodness, the madness!
So my question is this... why do we use them so much? Is it the convenience factor? Is it a way to "hide" behind your wall of cellular device? Is it a way to multitask when we can't "talk" on the phone? Whatever the reason, I personally rely on texts way too much. I set myself up to be placed in awkward situations, to be put off, or put others off, to be misunderstood, or misunderstand others, all because it's available and easy. So why not take a minute to actually call? Why not skype or facetime? This is much more personal a method of communication.
While typing this, I am realizing this has turned in to more of a weekly "ponderable" than a weekly "lesson" but I know one thing is for sure... I am no longer going to allow texts to have so much power over my life... I want to be present in others lives and wish for their presence as well... so call. Take time to sit still and draft a letter. Send a card. Skype. Facetime. But let's all give the world of text a break.
Whatever your thoughts about texts, I hope take away the following from tonight's post: enjoy those you love near and far, respect one another, be kind... and as always, don't forget to FLY <3
P.S. I must say, I do have some hysterical textversations with some of my besties, and even some moving, inspirational ones.... but there is often a "pitfall beyond the payoff"... hey, I will have to use that more often... pitfall beyond the pitfall... ok good night :)
"Textversation..."
is not a reliable method of communication,
and should not be treated as such...
Can lead to rounds and rounds of confusion...
rather than real, genuine conversation...
How many times does someone misread a text, or have their text misunderstood? The tone, inflection, just missing punctuation can make all the difference in the world. Not to mention the fact that a text is not guaranteed... when I am talking to someone, I know they are there. I know they hear me. I do not have to assume they are reading the text and hesitating or ignoring me. I get an automatic answer. Texts? Those can take hours. That then leads to more uncertainty... did I say something wrong? Are they ignoring me? Did they get my text? Did I send it to the wrong person? My goodness, the madness!
So my question is this... why do we use them so much? Is it the convenience factor? Is it a way to "hide" behind your wall of cellular device? Is it a way to multitask when we can't "talk" on the phone? Whatever the reason, I personally rely on texts way too much. I set myself up to be placed in awkward situations, to be put off, or put others off, to be misunderstood, or misunderstand others, all because it's available and easy. So why not take a minute to actually call? Why not skype or facetime? This is much more personal a method of communication.
While typing this, I am realizing this has turned in to more of a weekly "ponderable" than a weekly "lesson" but I know one thing is for sure... I am no longer going to allow texts to have so much power over my life... I want to be present in others lives and wish for their presence as well... so call. Take time to sit still and draft a letter. Send a card. Skype. Facetime. But let's all give the world of text a break.
Whatever your thoughts about texts, I hope take away the following from tonight's post: enjoy those you love near and far, respect one another, be kind... and as always, don't forget to FLY <3
P.S. I must say, I do have some hysterical textversations with some of my besties, and even some moving, inspirational ones.... but there is often a "pitfall beyond the payoff"... hey, I will have to use that more often... pitfall beyond the pitfall... ok good night :)
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
PBEAR MAIL!!!!
I have 28 more minutes to post today's theme: PBear Mail Day...
I did not post last week because of a series of events leading me to receive my PBear mail on Sunday, rather than Wednesday (see a previous blog post about this..) Today, Wednesday, August 10, 2011, my mail came on time, I received said mail on time, and all is again right with the world! Excuse the excessive use of commas.
So who is this PBear and what is the deal with PBear Mail Days?
PBear is Mike Wing Lewis, affectionately referred to by myself as PBear... which is Father Bear shortened to Papa Bear, shortened to Bear... his friends call him Bear. I called him Bear until he lovingly accepted me into his clan and named me his daughter bear last May. He did this through an unforgettable ceremony of the passing down of the warrior's necklace, which has a novel's worth of stories to tell on its own, I am sure. Long story short, this necklace has gone through generations of warriors in my PBear's native family, and I am honored to be the first non-blood, and female, "relative" to receive this priceless gift. This gift goes much deeper than the necklace, the gift goes to the heart of what this necklace means... strength, Spirit, guidance, wisdom, Love, connectedness... I could go on and on here...
I can share much more of PBear later, but I will start with our letters. When I moved to Tampa last summer, I was terribly frightened. I was homesick. I was absolutely unsure of what I was doing and how I ended up making this decision to move. PBear had to know this, and he took it upon himself to begin sending me letters. Hand written letters. Delivered via "snail mail." These are my love letters from Bear. My belief in pure, absolute, altruistic, love. My little glimpse of wisdom that can only be earned from decades of a difficult life, and triumphs through unbelievable struggles, which PBear has overcome... not only has he earned such wisdom... wisdom of a warrior... but he is willing to pass it on to an unsure, hesitant, questioning pupil like myself.
Each week, he sits down on a Sunday morning, writes his letter to me, and I receive them on Wednesdays (most always); I then write him Wednesday night (or Thursday morning if I am slacking) and he receives my letters on Saturdays (most always.) It has been over a year and this has been the one constant in this completely changing universe which is life as a graduate student. This is the constant that reminds me to slow down, to enjoy the "real" things in life, to appreciate that which cannot be bought or sold, to take time to contemplate the life lessons, and to reciprocate a love which I wasn't even sure I could live up to. This week's letter was actually about this... what the writing has done for us. What this dance of love and flow of letters has given us... how deeply impacted each of us are by this ongoing commitment to ourselves and to one another. And how he is intrigued by my commitment to myself in joining the blogosphere :)
So there we have it friends. This is my first PBear post, with many more to come. I have all of his letters in a special place and hope to one day compile them together in a novel. One day... Until that day, I hope my friends will continue to join me in Carla's Corner.
And as always, don't forget to FLY <3
I did not post last week because of a series of events leading me to receive my PBear mail on Sunday, rather than Wednesday (see a previous blog post about this..) Today, Wednesday, August 10, 2011, my mail came on time, I received said mail on time, and all is again right with the world! Excuse the excessive use of commas.
So who is this PBear and what is the deal with PBear Mail Days?
PBear is Mike Wing Lewis, affectionately referred to by myself as PBear... which is Father Bear shortened to Papa Bear, shortened to Bear... his friends call him Bear. I called him Bear until he lovingly accepted me into his clan and named me his daughter bear last May. He did this through an unforgettable ceremony of the passing down of the warrior's necklace, which has a novel's worth of stories to tell on its own, I am sure. Long story short, this necklace has gone through generations of warriors in my PBear's native family, and I am honored to be the first non-blood, and female, "relative" to receive this priceless gift. This gift goes much deeper than the necklace, the gift goes to the heart of what this necklace means... strength, Spirit, guidance, wisdom, Love, connectedness... I could go on and on here...
I can share much more of PBear later, but I will start with our letters. When I moved to Tampa last summer, I was terribly frightened. I was homesick. I was absolutely unsure of what I was doing and how I ended up making this decision to move. PBear had to know this, and he took it upon himself to begin sending me letters. Hand written letters. Delivered via "snail mail." These are my love letters from Bear. My belief in pure, absolute, altruistic, love. My little glimpse of wisdom that can only be earned from decades of a difficult life, and triumphs through unbelievable struggles, which PBear has overcome... not only has he earned such wisdom... wisdom of a warrior... but he is willing to pass it on to an unsure, hesitant, questioning pupil like myself.
Each week, he sits down on a Sunday morning, writes his letter to me, and I receive them on Wednesdays (most always); I then write him Wednesday night (or Thursday morning if I am slacking) and he receives my letters on Saturdays (most always.) It has been over a year and this has been the one constant in this completely changing universe which is life as a graduate student. This is the constant that reminds me to slow down, to enjoy the "real" things in life, to appreciate that which cannot be bought or sold, to take time to contemplate the life lessons, and to reciprocate a love which I wasn't even sure I could live up to. This week's letter was actually about this... what the writing has done for us. What this dance of love and flow of letters has given us... how deeply impacted each of us are by this ongoing commitment to ourselves and to one another. And how he is intrigued by my commitment to myself in joining the blogosphere :)
So there we have it friends. This is my first PBear post, with many more to come. I have all of his letters in a special place and hope to one day compile them together in a novel. One day... Until that day, I hope my friends will continue to join me in Carla's Corner.
And as always, don't forget to FLY <3
Spotlight Tuesday... A day late..
Tuesday’s blog theme is “spotlight” day, and since I didn’t get around to it yesterday, I am posting it today… My spotlight day will be a weekly post dedicated to a person I choose… one whom I admire, look up to, appreciate, or just feel like posting about.
Naturally, my first spotlight post must be my mother. My mother and I are best friends. This is an amazing thing, especially considering we would never have seen this in our future a few years ago. Truthfully, if you asked me 10-15 years ago if my mother would be my best friend, I would say no way. If you asked her, she probably would have said her daughter might not be alive in 10-15 years. I was rebellious, horrendous, and “wild child” would not do me justice. Yet, my mother stuck by me. She always has.
My mom has a knack for giving people the benefit of the doubt and can be loyal to a fault. She stayed with my father for years past what I would have, simply to keep our family together. She stayed present for my brother and me, when I would have run away. She worked two jobs our whole lives to help us have the best life can offer, whether that be education, food, clothes, shelter, cars, extra curricular activities, summer camps, whatever… she provided. To this day, she sends me care packages, unexpected notes, coupons, and the like. Every time she visits Tampa, she cooks and cooks some more.
Regardless of all of the material goods, my mother gives love unconditionally, compassion, and a listening ear. I can call her day or night and she is there to listen. She does not judge, she simply listens and shares her experience. One of the best things about my mother is she is not only a mother to her biological children, she is an adopted mother to almost every one of our friends. Holiday meals, birthday dinners, just a nice place to spend time, with good company and love, my mother does it all.
She also gives back to the community, adopts other families, is a member to more organizations than I could possibly list, and is simply one of the most selfless people I know. She does all of this and still works one full time job for the state, one part time job at an urgent care clinic, takes care of her home, cooks for her husband, AND takes care of my Grandmother who has Alzheimer’s. I honestly do not know anyone else who could handle so much life stress and continue giving service with a smile. Belinda McClellan, you are truly superwoman, and I am honored to be your daughter and best friend. Love you.. Past the Sky J
Naturally, my first spotlight post must be my mother. My mother and I are best friends. This is an amazing thing, especially considering we would never have seen this in our future a few years ago. Truthfully, if you asked me 10-15 years ago if my mother would be my best friend, I would say no way. If you asked her, she probably would have said her daughter might not be alive in 10-15 years. I was rebellious, horrendous, and “wild child” would not do me justice. Yet, my mother stuck by me. She always has.
My mom has a knack for giving people the benefit of the doubt and can be loyal to a fault. She stayed with my father for years past what I would have, simply to keep our family together. She stayed present for my brother and me, when I would have run away. She worked two jobs our whole lives to help us have the best life can offer, whether that be education, food, clothes, shelter, cars, extra curricular activities, summer camps, whatever… she provided. To this day, she sends me care packages, unexpected notes, coupons, and the like. Every time she visits Tampa, she cooks and cooks some more.
Regardless of all of the material goods, my mother gives love unconditionally, compassion, and a listening ear. I can call her day or night and she is there to listen. She does not judge, she simply listens and shares her experience. One of the best things about my mother is she is not only a mother to her biological children, she is an adopted mother to almost every one of our friends. Holiday meals, birthday dinners, just a nice place to spend time, with good company and love, my mother does it all.
She also gives back to the community, adopts other families, is a member to more organizations than I could possibly list, and is simply one of the most selfless people I know. She does all of this and still works one full time job for the state, one part time job at an urgent care clinic, takes care of her home, cooks for her husband, AND takes care of my Grandmother who has Alzheimer’s. I honestly do not know anyone else who could handle so much life stress and continue giving service with a smile. Belinda McClellan, you are truly superwoman, and I am honored to be your daughter and best friend. Love you.. Past the Sky J
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Why is it so hard to click "publish this post" on this one....
Because vulnerability is a scary thing. This list took three days... Happy reading... Tomorrow will be a double post day.
Long ago, a great mentor in my life (Dr. Melissa Soldani-Lemon) gave me this assignment: write 100 things about yourself. I got to 50, but am not sure I have ever made it to 100. I am thinking the rationale between such an assignment is the rationale behind life: learn who you are, like who you are, love who you are... own it...
So this is my list. There will not be any particular sorting in regards to level of importance. It's just my list, in whatever order it comes to me...
1. Order is obviously important to me. (See above).
2. I played softball for 11 years, give or take a few.
3. At one point, I played catcher. I do not recommend this position to anyone with knee problems.
4. The grooves beneath my knee caps are not grooves- the are flat, meaning my knee cap has no place to rest.... it just kinda moves around...
5. Because of this, I dislocated my knees many times, and the bone has been worn down.
6. I have had 4 knee surgeries.
7. If I live to be 100, and all goes as planned, I can expect to have 5 more knee surgeries.
8. I said for years that I had a horrible phobia of needles, yet I have tattoos and needle injections.
9. The phobia is needles in my arms, especially blood draws.
10. I suffered from kawasakis disease as a child and my first memory is a big overweight red headed nurse holding me down to draw my blood.
11. There is something to be said about childhood memories and adulthood phobias.
12, The #12 is my favorite number...
13.
14. I am superstitious at times. (Note, I left the #13 blank... bad luck)
15. I used google to correct my spelling for superstitious (I put a "c" where the second "t" should be)... See, I am not always as smart as people would like to think, and I use google as a spell checker quite often.
16. Come to think of it, I google almost everything.
17. In the past year, I have become a lover of all things apple/mac/iEverything... For years, I was anti- apple/mac/iEverything.
18. Once I let go of my pre-conceived ideas and notions, and become open minded to something new, I invariably find that I have a love for that which I became open to.
19. If I don't love it, I can change my mind.
20. Usually, I become married to my routines, friends, lifestyle, etc., and do not wish to change my mind.
21. I find that my inability to "let go" is the same as closed mindedness.
22. My one true love in this life has four legs.
23. I have only been truly in love (with a human) once. This person was not available to reciprocate.
24. Self sabotage is a horrible thing.
25. Are we only 1/4 of the way there? Or do I have 75% of my list to complete? I like to play with numbers.
26. I have an ongoing letter writing relationship with my PBear... he is nearly three times my age..
27. This is my age... 27.. Decent age, I guess.
28. My soul is much older.
29. The majority of my friends are older than myself.
30. To me, this feeds my need for constant stimulation.
31. I also have a need to constantly ask questions and learn. Even if it seems useless knowledge.
32. Speaking of needs, one of my favorite books is "The Seven Deadly Needs"
33. If I do not work out at least once a day, I get crazy. It doesn't have to be strenuous, but I must move.
34. The same goes for traveling, even just a short road trip. My limit is about 6-8 weeks before I start getting antsy.
35. My life is best lived when spending as much time as possible outside.
36. We had a little weekend house called "Shady Acres" growing up... mud pies, bike rides, BB guns, and fish frys. (you can't turn fish frys into fish fries, it doesn't look right)
37. I got angry when the Santa at a Christmas party gave my brother a toy car and me a doll. I wanted the car. One Christmas, I was given a BB gun. I also didn't like dresses. Tom Boy, much?
38. On my mother's side of the family, I am the only girl. And the youngest grandchild.
39. On my father's side, I was the youngest grandchild until I was 13 and my baby cousin was born. There are about 15-16 years between me and the youngest of all the other cousins.
40. Some people refer to me as "Queen Baby." #38 and #39 should explain this a bit... at least I get it honest.
41. I could live off of smoothies.
42. Or green beans out of the can.
43. My eating habits are almost as rigid as my household.
44. I am becoming more open minded in this area. I didn't eat green beans until I was 24 or 25 and now they are one of my favorites. (See #18)
I am taking a break now... will be back at 45....
45. I'd be content writing for a living, as long as my work was helping others or inspiring change.
46. My undergraduate degree is research, my graduate degree is Public Health, I'd like my PhD in Psych or Public Health/Poli Sci.. and a second bachelor's in journalism... when I took an aptitude test, I scored high in every area except spatial reasoning.... Thus the wide array of degree programs...
47. Maybe I would be more content being a student forever.
48. In a way, I am.
49. When people tell me I am too inquisitive, I get offended. Eventually, I realize it is a compliment in disguise. One must seek to understand; one must inquire to gain knowledge.
50. I like running in the rain.
51. I miss softball.
52. My music choices are as versatile as my degree programs (see #46)
53. To me, music is more about the lyrics than the sound. The sound is an added bonus. To me, it is poetry in motion.
54. Butterflies are also poetry in motion. I love them.
55. I am poetry in motion.
56. It would be a logical fallacy to conclude that because butterflies are poetry in motion, I am a butterfly. Yet, I am :)
57. I have one butterfly tattoo, one sanddollar tattoo, and one wrist tattoo that means "awareness"
58. Staying aware is important to me.
59. Staying present is also important, but very difficult for me to do.
60. I have had problems sleeping since I was a child. Yet melatonin knocks me right out.
61. Another method I use to go to sleep is an A-Z gratitude list... listing things I am grateful for beginning with the letter A and so on. The problem with this method is I made it a game and tried to come up with double A's, double B's, and so on... This defeated the purpose of relaxation, but is still fun.
62. Taking compliments from others is still difficult for me to do.
63. I enjoy digital art and photography. I like taking pictures of everything. And comparing the originals to digital edits.
64. There are certain subjects I rarely make edits to, adding to me sense of accomplishment in my photography.
65. At times, I feel I was meant to be an artist, poet, song writer, something more creative than what I currently am. Then again, I do not find satisfaction in being defined by my job (i.e. I am a student, I am a researcher, I am a recruitment coordinator, and so on)
66. So I am who I was meant to be. I just don't make a living from such.
Taking a break... again...
67. I love creating things for others- whether it be a personalized gift, a poem, a collage, anything.
68. My favorite creation was a inspirational book for my soul sista.
69. My other favorite was a collage I made for my mom's 60th birthday.
70. I can have two favorites. Just as I can have two best friends. My mom and my soul sister.
71. They are both more than double my age (see #29).
72. I miss my other close friends.
73. One of my greatest blessings in life is having friends, true friends, all over the United States... We are connected through a common bond which has become the highlight of my life.
74. I spend a weekend a year with a lot of these women at a retreat in Georgia.
75. Before grad school, I went to at least 4 retreats a year. My life seemed to go a little more smoothly then.
76. I seem sure of myself, but I have the same fears and hesitations we all do. Am I good enough? Is this the right path? Where do I belong?
77. I never imagined I would end up where I am today, nor do I feel I will stay here.
78. Most times, I feel I will end up out west or in DC. At one time, I wanted to live in NY for a year.
79. How do people with chronic knee problems live in such a city? Random questions like this pop into my head fairly often throughout the day. No rhyme or reason, they just do.
80. One of my favorite trips was my trip to Ireland. That summer I visited Hilton Head, Jacksonville, then Ireland. Amazing.
81. I could not live in Ireland though. I am afraid I would be seasonally depressed, all the time. As beautiful as it is there, the cold/wet/dreary days would hinder my happiness (this is an assumption... I make a lot of those)
82. I make the best coffee and brownies out of anyone I know.
83. Serving as a barista helped with the coffee.
84. The baking gene? I am sure it came from my nanny (paternal grandmother)
85. My mom can cook for days and days and still be ready to cook more. I do not cook. At all.
86. Yoga, swimming, and pilates are the best exercises for me. I feel the best after doing all of these.
87. On the other hand, I still torture myself by sneaking in a run and rollerblading every now and then. (See #24)
88. I apparently equate food with exercise. This is a shortcoming I will one day overcome. Compulsive exercise.
Taking another break
Two days later...
89. A spa bath, yankee candles, and music can cure almost anything. If not a cure, it at least provides some relief...
90. Pedicures can too. I give myself a pedicure once a week and keep my toe nails painted. Always.
91. Next to a french pedicure, purple toe nail polish is my favorite. Just about anything purple is my favorite. It's my color.
92. My next color is hot pink... the majority of my workout clothes have hot pink in them.
93. I was a tom boy until I turned 18 or so... my parents could not get me anywhere near pink or dresses or anything girlie (see #37) Today, I embrace my femininity with a passion.
94. Athletically, I can still take any man any day. In just about any sport.
95. It is driving me crazy that I am not going back through this list and correcting and grammatical or structural errors which may have been made in haste.
96. I believe my best poetry and lyrics are those works that remain unedited.
97. Four of my poems have been published.... I have not submitted one in a number of years.
98. My first published poem was "Fork in the Road," submitted to a magazine by one of my youth directors... I was maybe 13? Or 14? That was before I quit attending church on a regular basis.
99. I am commonly referred to as a Chreaster... I attend church on Christmas and Easter... and whenever else my mother makes me go.
100. I do not agree with this term, as it makes one seem as if they are only a Christian when attending church. I believe one can believe in Jesus and practice other spiritual practices or rituals... and Jesus is cool with that (in my opinion)
101. This list must end now, before I begin any type of theological debate. I am honestly surprised I included no political points in this post. Score one for restraint of tongue and pen :)
Long ago, a great mentor in my life (Dr. Melissa Soldani-Lemon) gave me this assignment: write 100 things about yourself. I got to 50, but am not sure I have ever made it to 100. I am thinking the rationale between such an assignment is the rationale behind life: learn who you are, like who you are, love who you are... own it...
So this is my list. There will not be any particular sorting in regards to level of importance. It's just my list, in whatever order it comes to me...
1. Order is obviously important to me. (See above).
2. I played softball for 11 years, give or take a few.
3. At one point, I played catcher. I do not recommend this position to anyone with knee problems.
4. The grooves beneath my knee caps are not grooves- the are flat, meaning my knee cap has no place to rest.... it just kinda moves around...
5. Because of this, I dislocated my knees many times, and the bone has been worn down.
6. I have had 4 knee surgeries.
7. If I live to be 100, and all goes as planned, I can expect to have 5 more knee surgeries.
8. I said for years that I had a horrible phobia of needles, yet I have tattoos and needle injections.
9. The phobia is needles in my arms, especially blood draws.
10. I suffered from kawasakis disease as a child and my first memory is a big overweight red headed nurse holding me down to draw my blood.
11. There is something to be said about childhood memories and adulthood phobias.
12, The #12 is my favorite number...
13.
14. I am superstitious at times. (Note, I left the #13 blank... bad luck)
15. I used google to correct my spelling for superstitious (I put a "c" where the second "t" should be)... See, I am not always as smart as people would like to think, and I use google as a spell checker quite often.
16. Come to think of it, I google almost everything.
17. In the past year, I have become a lover of all things apple/mac/iEverything... For years, I was anti- apple/mac/iEverything.
18. Once I let go of my pre-conceived ideas and notions, and become open minded to something new, I invariably find that I have a love for that which I became open to.
19. If I don't love it, I can change my mind.
20. Usually, I become married to my routines, friends, lifestyle, etc., and do not wish to change my mind.
21. I find that my inability to "let go" is the same as closed mindedness.
22. My one true love in this life has four legs.
23. I have only been truly in love (with a human) once. This person was not available to reciprocate.
24. Self sabotage is a horrible thing.
25. Are we only 1/4 of the way there? Or do I have 75% of my list to complete? I like to play with numbers.
26. I have an ongoing letter writing relationship with my PBear... he is nearly three times my age..
27. This is my age... 27.. Decent age, I guess.
28. My soul is much older.
29. The majority of my friends are older than myself.
30. To me, this feeds my need for constant stimulation.
31. I also have a need to constantly ask questions and learn. Even if it seems useless knowledge.
32. Speaking of needs, one of my favorite books is "The Seven Deadly Needs"
33. If I do not work out at least once a day, I get crazy. It doesn't have to be strenuous, but I must move.
34. The same goes for traveling, even just a short road trip. My limit is about 6-8 weeks before I start getting antsy.
35. My life is best lived when spending as much time as possible outside.
36. We had a little weekend house called "Shady Acres" growing up... mud pies, bike rides, BB guns, and fish frys. (you can't turn fish frys into fish fries, it doesn't look right)
37. I got angry when the Santa at a Christmas party gave my brother a toy car and me a doll. I wanted the car. One Christmas, I was given a BB gun. I also didn't like dresses. Tom Boy, much?
38. On my mother's side of the family, I am the only girl. And the youngest grandchild.
39. On my father's side, I was the youngest grandchild until I was 13 and my baby cousin was born. There are about 15-16 years between me and the youngest of all the other cousins.
40. Some people refer to me as "Queen Baby." #38 and #39 should explain this a bit... at least I get it honest.
41. I could live off of smoothies.
42. Or green beans out of the can.
43. My eating habits are almost as rigid as my household.
44. I am becoming more open minded in this area. I didn't eat green beans until I was 24 or 25 and now they are one of my favorites. (See #18)
I am taking a break now... will be back at 45....
45. I'd be content writing for a living, as long as my work was helping others or inspiring change.
46. My undergraduate degree is research, my graduate degree is Public Health, I'd like my PhD in Psych or Public Health/Poli Sci.. and a second bachelor's in journalism... when I took an aptitude test, I scored high in every area except spatial reasoning.... Thus the wide array of degree programs...
47. Maybe I would be more content being a student forever.
48. In a way, I am.
49. When people tell me I am too inquisitive, I get offended. Eventually, I realize it is a compliment in disguise. One must seek to understand; one must inquire to gain knowledge.
50. I like running in the rain.
51. I miss softball.
52. My music choices are as versatile as my degree programs (see #46)
53. To me, music is more about the lyrics than the sound. The sound is an added bonus. To me, it is poetry in motion.
54. Butterflies are also poetry in motion. I love them.
55. I am poetry in motion.
56. It would be a logical fallacy to conclude that because butterflies are poetry in motion, I am a butterfly. Yet, I am :)
57. I have one butterfly tattoo, one sanddollar tattoo, and one wrist tattoo that means "awareness"
58. Staying aware is important to me.
59. Staying present is also important, but very difficult for me to do.
60. I have had problems sleeping since I was a child. Yet melatonin knocks me right out.
61. Another method I use to go to sleep is an A-Z gratitude list... listing things I am grateful for beginning with the letter A and so on. The problem with this method is I made it a game and tried to come up with double A's, double B's, and so on... This defeated the purpose of relaxation, but is still fun.
62. Taking compliments from others is still difficult for me to do.
63. I enjoy digital art and photography. I like taking pictures of everything. And comparing the originals to digital edits.
64. There are certain subjects I rarely make edits to, adding to me sense of accomplishment in my photography.
65. At times, I feel I was meant to be an artist, poet, song writer, something more creative than what I currently am. Then again, I do not find satisfaction in being defined by my job (i.e. I am a student, I am a researcher, I am a recruitment coordinator, and so on)
66. So I am who I was meant to be. I just don't make a living from such.
Taking a break... again...
67. I love creating things for others- whether it be a personalized gift, a poem, a collage, anything.
68. My favorite creation was a inspirational book for my soul sista.
69. My other favorite was a collage I made for my mom's 60th birthday.
70. I can have two favorites. Just as I can have two best friends. My mom and my soul sister.
71. They are both more than double my age (see #29).
72. I miss my other close friends.
73. One of my greatest blessings in life is having friends, true friends, all over the United States... We are connected through a common bond which has become the highlight of my life.
74. I spend a weekend a year with a lot of these women at a retreat in Georgia.
75. Before grad school, I went to at least 4 retreats a year. My life seemed to go a little more smoothly then.
76. I seem sure of myself, but I have the same fears and hesitations we all do. Am I good enough? Is this the right path? Where do I belong?
77. I never imagined I would end up where I am today, nor do I feel I will stay here.
78. Most times, I feel I will end up out west or in DC. At one time, I wanted to live in NY for a year.
79. How do people with chronic knee problems live in such a city? Random questions like this pop into my head fairly often throughout the day. No rhyme or reason, they just do.
80. One of my favorite trips was my trip to Ireland. That summer I visited Hilton Head, Jacksonville, then Ireland. Amazing.
81. I could not live in Ireland though. I am afraid I would be seasonally depressed, all the time. As beautiful as it is there, the cold/wet/dreary days would hinder my happiness (this is an assumption... I make a lot of those)
82. I make the best coffee and brownies out of anyone I know.
83. Serving as a barista helped with the coffee.
84. The baking gene? I am sure it came from my nanny (paternal grandmother)
85. My mom can cook for days and days and still be ready to cook more. I do not cook. At all.
86. Yoga, swimming, and pilates are the best exercises for me. I feel the best after doing all of these.
87. On the other hand, I still torture myself by sneaking in a run and rollerblading every now and then. (See #24)
88. I apparently equate food with exercise. This is a shortcoming I will one day overcome. Compulsive exercise.
Taking another break
Two days later...
89. A spa bath, yankee candles, and music can cure almost anything. If not a cure, it at least provides some relief...
90. Pedicures can too. I give myself a pedicure once a week and keep my toe nails painted. Always.
91. Next to a french pedicure, purple toe nail polish is my favorite. Just about anything purple is my favorite. It's my color.
92. My next color is hot pink... the majority of my workout clothes have hot pink in them.
93. I was a tom boy until I turned 18 or so... my parents could not get me anywhere near pink or dresses or anything girlie (see #37) Today, I embrace my femininity with a passion.
94. Athletically, I can still take any man any day. In just about any sport.
95. It is driving me crazy that I am not going back through this list and correcting and grammatical or structural errors which may have been made in haste.
96. I believe my best poetry and lyrics are those works that remain unedited.
97. Four of my poems have been published.... I have not submitted one in a number of years.
98. My first published poem was "Fork in the Road," submitted to a magazine by one of my youth directors... I was maybe 13? Or 14? That was before I quit attending church on a regular basis.
99. I am commonly referred to as a Chreaster... I attend church on Christmas and Easter... and whenever else my mother makes me go.
100. I do not agree with this term, as it makes one seem as if they are only a Christian when attending church. I believe one can believe in Jesus and practice other spiritual practices or rituals... and Jesus is cool with that (in my opinion)
101. This list must end now, before I begin any type of theological debate. I am honestly surprised I included no political points in this post. Score one for restraint of tongue and pen :)
Monday, August 8, 2011
Discernment
Originally, Mondays were going to be for organization. I changed my mind. Yes, I am obviously working on my "issue" with rigidity. I decided since I love words so much, I may as well have a "word of the day" day. So today is it. My word of the day is.... drum roll please...
Discernment: n. keen perception or judgment. From discern and -ment
Discern: 1. to perceive by the sight or some other sense or by the intellect; see, recognize, or apprehend; to distinguish mentally; recognize as distinct or different.
Discernment: n. keen perception or judgment. From discern and -ment
Discern: 1. to perceive by the sight or some other sense or by the intellect; see, recognize, or apprehend; to distinguish mentally; recognize as distinct or different.
-Ment: a suffix of nouns, often concrete, denoting an action or resulting state (abridgment; refreshment), a product (fragment), or means (ornament).
Notice the words above which are italicized. This is because I like them. Although I have been called "too sensitive" but clearly, it can be a good trait. Okay, back to discernment. I was originally thinking of balance as my word for the day, or priority, or duty. I realized that before balance, one must discern what to make a priority. One must have some insight into the act of balancing before they can begin such an arduous task.
How did I arrive to balance and discernment as my words today? Naturally, I sign up for more than I am capable of handling. I try to be ten million things to everyone. I end up feeling taken advantage of, but then realize the willing can only be taken for granted. I cannot surely think one is taking advantage of me when I am a willing participant. So in comes the discernment. Why do I sign up to do other people's tasks for them? Why do I stick my hand out when I am barely floating above water in my own pool of life? Is it because I genuinely want to help? Or is it because I am looking for a pay off, I am hoping I will be appreciated or my ego will be fed? Enter discernment again. All of these things require a certain amount of insight and judgment. Whether it be a to-do list, taking on additional tasks, knowing who is using you, who you can trust, etc. etc.
As far as where we receive such discernment, there are various schools of thought on this. I am aware the Bible speaks of the Spiritual Gift of Discernment. I do not recall what is said verbatim, but I know it's in there. I believe we all have this gift to some extent. It goes back to a very fundamental area of child rearing- teaching your child what is right and wrong. So if we learn this early in life, how does one develop discernment? I cannot speak for anyone else, but for me, experience and guidance... Learning life lessons as time goes on. The test is not knowing how to discern though, it is using this gift in my daily life... deciding to do it. Deciding that it is better to live life aware and seek insight in order to live a manageable life. Right thought. Right Action. Discernment.
Share your thoughts if you will.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Well, well, well..... I have let the ball drop on this new creation which is Carla's Corner. I can explain. One of the problems with being so rigid is that when things do not go "as planned," I easily get off track. Take this week for example. Every Wednesday, I receive PBear mail. I was planning to post on Wednesday about PBear, as that is my Wednesday theme and I love writing to and about him. But my mail did not come Wednesday. It did not come Thursday. I am not sure if it came yesterday, as I have been unable to check my mail. So this one issue of tardiness derailed my blogging plans. Thanks United States Postal Service, I appreciate it!
This isn't the only unexpected twist to my week. My mother called me Thursday night and asked me what time I could be in Tallahassee the following day (yesterday)... she arranged for me to drop off my car at a friends for him to fix it. I love coming home, don't get me wrong. I love my mom, I love her thoughtfulness. BUT this wasn't planned by ME. Meaning I felt out of control, and once again felt as if my week was "derailed."
The good news is I got to see PBear last night, my car is fixed, and I am spending time with my Gma (I am sure all will read a lot more about her later.) The not so good news is I have very little time to see anyone but family. No time really. I did not have a car yesterday, and this afternoon I am with my Gma. I leave in the morning. But I did get to see some friends last night and for this, I am grateful.
Back to the point of today's writing. My rigidity. Being super organized is a wonderful trait. Being completely rigid is a glaring defect. So what I learned about myself today is I still have room to grow, always. I have room to learn to be flexible, while maintaining organization. It is possible. Right? We shall see.
As far as the rest of this week's blogs.... I was planning on doing more "getting to know the author" posts. A great mentor of mine once suggested I make a list or 100 things about myself. Maybe this blog will motivate me to undertake such a task. I know 50 was a difficult feat. I can imagine 100 will be. Then again, I have put aside over a year of my life to remain single, to learn more about me, and love me. More on that later. For now, I hope everyone is having a great weekend.
Don't forget to FLY <3
This isn't the only unexpected twist to my week. My mother called me Thursday night and asked me what time I could be in Tallahassee the following day (yesterday)... she arranged for me to drop off my car at a friends for him to fix it. I love coming home, don't get me wrong. I love my mom, I love her thoughtfulness. BUT this wasn't planned by ME. Meaning I felt out of control, and once again felt as if my week was "derailed."
The good news is I got to see PBear last night, my car is fixed, and I am spending time with my Gma (I am sure all will read a lot more about her later.) The not so good news is I have very little time to see anyone but family. No time really. I did not have a car yesterday, and this afternoon I am with my Gma. I leave in the morning. But I did get to see some friends last night and for this, I am grateful.
Back to the point of today's writing. My rigidity. Being super organized is a wonderful trait. Being completely rigid is a glaring defect. So what I learned about myself today is I still have room to grow, always. I have room to learn to be flexible, while maintaining organization. It is possible. Right? We shall see.
As far as the rest of this week's blogs.... I was planning on doing more "getting to know the author" posts. A great mentor of mine once suggested I make a list or 100 things about myself. Maybe this blog will motivate me to undertake such a task. I know 50 was a difficult feat. I can imagine 100 will be. Then again, I have put aside over a year of my life to remain single, to learn more about me, and love me. More on that later. For now, I hope everyone is having a great weekend.
Don't forget to FLY <3
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Still organizing...
So this is taking a little longer than expected... it may not take so long if I wasn't a perpetual perfectionist, one that has a little OCD thrown in the mix (not enough to require medication, although sometimes I wonder if I would benefit from sedation.)
I am playing with layouts, although my viewers seem to like this one. I know it looks like fall, but that is my favorite time of year. I keep adding my own photography as a background, but cannot get the dimensions perfect so I change back to this template.
Tonight, I will be adding a link list, which includes pages I frequent or find blog-worthy. I will get around to a random "about me" post eventually. If you came here from my facebook page, I am sure you know enough.
Tomorrow is PBear Mail day, so you will read more about the relationship which brings my heart happiness on a regular basis. And the name "DBear," as I promised with my first blog.
Thanks for visiting, have a good night, and don't forget to FLY <3
I am playing with layouts, although my viewers seem to like this one. I know it looks like fall, but that is my favorite time of year. I keep adding my own photography as a background, but cannot get the dimensions perfect so I change back to this template.
Tonight, I will be adding a link list, which includes pages I frequent or find blog-worthy. I will get around to a random "about me" post eventually. If you came here from my facebook page, I am sure you know enough.
Tomorrow is PBear Mail day, so you will read more about the relationship which brings my heart happiness on a regular basis. And the name "DBear," as I promised with my first blog.
Thanks for visiting, have a good night, and don't forget to FLY <3
Monday, August 1, 2011
Organizing Carla's Corner...
Today is my organization day... the day I typically organize my week. Today, I will be attempting to bring this blog together. One of the reasons it took so long to join the infamous blogosphere is because I constantly change my mind about what I want my templates to look like. Anyone remember MySpace? Yeah, I changed my page layouts more often than my great uncle changes girlfriends... we all have that "dirty old uncle."
Back to the point.. organization. This week will include general info about me, whatever you want to know, anything interesting I find necessary to include, etc. Please feel free to add any questions you would like me to answer in the comments section.
Following this week, I will have daily themes:
Monday: organizing your life. Anyone who knows me knows I am an organizer to a fault. A friend recently asked me to fed ex my organizational skills to her, so why not include them here?
Tuesday: spotlight day... this will include anyone I admire, respect, or just find interesting. Whether it be family, friend, celeb, who knows?
Wednesday: DBear/PBear mail day (This Wednesday, I will include my Warrior Story and a glimpse into the relationship that is my heart, my love story with Bear). It is a must read, for sure.
Thursday: undecided.
Friday: week-in-review of the top five news stories (maybe ten, depending on how spunky I feel.) I will either choose stories I enjoyed, or stories I find outlandish and unacceptable; usually, my politically motivated posts will contain the latter.
Saturday: creativity day, expect photography, music or poetry.
Sunday: inspirational day. Again, expect photography, music, poetry, or just random original quotes. Or some not so original quotes. After all, it is my blog.
Please post anything interesting you would enjoy to read on any of the undecided days. Okay, so Thursday is the only undecided day I have.
Also, this doesn't mean I will not be posting about my life, or about quitting smoking, which was the inspiration behind this whole blog. This just gives me a way to layout my blog and keep some organization to the madness which is my life.
Back to the point.. organization. This week will include general info about me, whatever you want to know, anything interesting I find necessary to include, etc. Please feel free to add any questions you would like me to answer in the comments section.
Following this week, I will have daily themes:
Monday: organizing your life. Anyone who knows me knows I am an organizer to a fault. A friend recently asked me to fed ex my organizational skills to her, so why not include them here?
Tuesday: spotlight day... this will include anyone I admire, respect, or just find interesting. Whether it be family, friend, celeb, who knows?
Wednesday: DBear/PBear mail day (This Wednesday, I will include my Warrior Story and a glimpse into the relationship that is my heart, my love story with Bear). It is a must read, for sure.
Thursday: undecided.
Friday: week-in-review of the top five news stories (maybe ten, depending on how spunky I feel.) I will either choose stories I enjoyed, or stories I find outlandish and unacceptable; usually, my politically motivated posts will contain the latter.
Saturday: creativity day, expect photography, music or poetry.
Sunday: inspirational day. Again, expect photography, music, poetry, or just random original quotes. Or some not so original quotes. After all, it is my blog.
Please post anything interesting you would enjoy to read on any of the undecided days. Okay, so Thursday is the only undecided day I have.
Also, this doesn't mean I will not be posting about my life, or about quitting smoking, which was the inspiration behind this whole blog. This just gives me a way to layout my blog and keep some organization to the madness which is my life.
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