Balance

My word of the week is Balance...

Balance: n. 1. a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight or amount. 2. mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.

Wow. As much as I use this word, I was surprised by definition #2, and how much I actually crave that. To some, I seem to have this steadiness and calm behavior and judgment in my life; to others, the know how "off the wall" I can be. 
The reason for choosing this word was twofold. I was thinking about how much the ropes course this weekend required balance. At one point in my life, I had zero (physical) balance. I would attempt to stand on one leg and I would immediately lose it. Things have changed a great deal. I can now stand on one leg for an extraordinary amount of time. How did I get there? Practice. Practice. Practice. I took yoga, I trained in the gym, I used the stability ball, I used the half ball (that is my favorite.) At times, I would fall, in front of others, and feel embarrassed. Yet, I kept practicing. Thank goodness I did, as I would have not been able to do parts of the ropes course without said balance.
The behavioral and emotional balance is my main challenge. There's the balance of my life activities and the balance of my emotions. I am hoping with practice, I can become as "skilled" in these areas as I am in the physical, but I question when this day will come. 
Yesterday, I was looking at my fall schedule. I will be in full time online graduate classes, working 30 hours a week (two different projects), volunteering on another project, heading up the BHSO (the organization I decided to become president of... smart one), working on our local tasks forces, and attempting to take a couple of trips... one for a professional conference, one for a serenity weekend, and hopefully a couple of football games. Oh, and I will attempt to eat right, exercise, and sleep with this schedule. The funny thing is, I never once considered these ALL together when signing up for all of the above. I didn't consider the whole plate and what might cause it to tip over. This seems to be an ongoing pattern in my life. I get excited about various tasks, I sign up, for them all, then I sit down and look at my life and say "Oh crap, what happened?" Yes. Balance is missing. Suggestions? Other than an amazing organizer and calendar alerts...
I just realized the emotional balance ties into all of the above. If I am on an even keel emotionally, I would probably not get in these "tackle the world spots," nor would I sit down one day and be overwhelmed by all I decided to tackle. The emotionally balanced person would more than likely evaluate these things as they come, and not decide on pure emotion. They would learn to think rationally... Maybe? Who knows. 
Today, I just know I will be attempting some balance in my life. I will be pulling out the schedules, adjusting them all, keeping my "me" time in there somewhere, and prioritizing my life. I must. After all, I would like to survive graduate school, balanced and steady, and continue to Fly... 

Well, well, well..... I have let the ball drop on this new creation which is Carla's Corner. I can explain. One of the problems with being so rigid is that when things do not go "as planned," I easily get off track. Take this week for example. Every Wednesday, I receive PBear mail. I was planning to post on Wednesday about PBear, as that is my Wednesday theme and I love writing to and about him. But my mail did not come Wednesday. It did not come Thursday. I am not sure if it came yesterday, as I have been unable to check my mail. So this one issue of tardiness derailed my blogging plans. Thanks United States Postal Service, I appreciate it!

This isn't the only unexpected twist to my week. My mother called me Thursday night and asked me what time I could be in Tallahassee the following day (yesterday)... she arranged for me to drop off my car at a friends for him to fix it. I love coming home, don't get me wrong. I love my mom, I love her thoughtfulness. BUT this wasn't planned by ME. Meaning I felt out of control, and once again felt as if my week was "derailed."

The good news is I got to see PBear last night, my car is fixed, and I am spending time with my Gma (I am sure all will read a lot more about her later.) The not so good news is I have very little time to see anyone but family. No time really. I did not have a car yesterday, and this afternoon I am with my Gma. I leave in the morning. But I did get to see some friends last night and for this, I am grateful.

Back to the point of today's writing. My rigidity. Being super organized is a wonderful trait. Being completely rigid is a glaring defect. So what I learned about myself today is I still have room to grow, always. I have room to learn to be flexible, while maintaining organization. It is possible. Right? We shall see.

As far as the rest of this week's blogs.... I was planning on doing more "getting to know the author" posts. A great mentor of mine once suggested I make a list or 100 things about myself. Maybe this blog will motivate me to undertake such a task. I know 50 was a difficult feat. I can imagine 100 will be. Then again, I have put aside over a year of my life to remain single, to learn more about me, and love me. More on that later. For now, I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Don't forget to FLY <3