2014 nearly killed me. I thought 2013 was tough with the job loss and the move, but at least I spent that entire year living in the most sought after housing market in the US and traveling the country.
Contrarily, I spent 2014 taking care of my ailing grandmother (alzheimers), losing two jobs due to health problems, grieving the other grandmother and my grandfather, along with a few uncles and three really good friends, then two best friends who didn't die, but rather chose to leave my life. Not to mention the medical problems that turned my world upside down. And the loneliness. Sometimes, all my body allows me to do is stay on the couch and that gets lonely. Very lonely. I'm not sure I even traveled this year, that would be the first in my life since about 2006.
However, there have been some major blessings for 2014. Anyone has followed any of my blogs know that I have to end with gratitude, just as I have to begin with gratitude. So here goes...
1. I was able to forgive myself for past actions that came up when I moved back here. It's finally happened.
2. I had the opportunity to be of service to my grandmother, to a friend who had a new baby this year and her 3 other kids, and to many others. One of those jobs gave you the ability to help a teenage girl get out of a very abusive living situation and now she is doing great!
3. Joining St. John's officially, being confirmed in the Episcopal church, and of course joining the choir. I'm a much better singer than I was when I moved back, and a much better person at that. I've come to peace with the church and have built some beautiful friendships with Susan Gage and Mother Phoebe! (Interestingly, neither are primarily at SJ as they were before I moved away in 2009)
4. Reconnection with friends and family, building new friendships within the church and the LGBT community, sponsorship. My first show at Mickee Faust! Hopefully, I will have time to join Faust this coming year, but if not, I'll be going to their shows! And heu, I was on the front page of my hometown newspaper wearing a rainbow flag. it doesn't get much cooler than that!
5. Reiki practice and becoming a practitioner. I also had an incredible experience of healing and forgiveness towards another during my first Reiki workshop. That cannot be undone. I'm also building a beautiful friendship with my Reiki master, Susie, and I hope that we can nurture this friendship for years to come.
6. Finally making the year commitment to dialectical behavioral skills- learning more about mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotional regulation, and impulsiveness. Very excited about this new venture, regardless of the heartache that brought me to the willingness to do it!
7. A fabulous new team of doctors. If I have to have medical problems, I may as well have a kickass team of doctors.
8. A great (and affordable) personal trainer who works with me on my nutrition and simply makes living a healthier lifestyle easier for me :) the added benefit of working out with my bestie Margit, and our trips to Trader Joe's after :)
9. Reconnected with my dad. And my father. They are different. But I've come to a place in my life where I have a great relationship with bio dad, and Bear as always, along with a good place with my step dad. I was not sure that would ever happen. It's a great place to be. I also get to work with Bear every single day as we do distance Reiki. Look forward to continue this for many years to come.
10. Of course I'm grateful for my beautiful home. It can be very difficult living in the house I was raised in, considering a lot of the things that went on in this household during my younger years and my teenage years. A lot of trauma. However, I have the honor to continue to live here and the blessing of saving money while doing so. Its a 3 bedroom house with 2 living rooms a screened in porch a full backyard and 2 bathrooms and I'm paying less than I would be paying for a single apartment. You really can't beat that. I also get to have free reign on how I decorate the place it's becoming my sanctuary. Thank you to my mom for trusting me with her house. Now to hosting more friends and gatherings here In the new year, starting with our Vision Board party Jan 6!
11. I joined a life course group of sorts back in June and have made some lifelong friendships. Although we have all been busy, I know that I can call on a few of these girls when life gets tough and they are always offering to help. I can count on one of them to go out for a nature walk or a kayaking trip and it's like we have been friends forever (looking at you, Rojas!). And I reconnected with Leffler who I beat up on the playground in 4th grade (she tells the story differently) and we are becoming great friends too (hahaha love you kelly!)
12. I started working on art more- from getting back into photography to collages and mandalas, it's all calming for my soul, and I hope to continue this in the new year.
These are the top 12 for me. I hope that you will join me in posting some of your gratitude below (no acct needed, just sign your name so I know who you are) If you want to join in on our vision board party, any outings or any of our growing activities, please let me know. We would love to have you. the goal for this next year is to have something happening at least once a month.
Love and light, see you in 2015
D bear
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