Spotlight Tuesday! (My favorite Author...)

When I began the journey of the blogosphere, just two short weeks ago, I decided to have daily themes. I am unsure how often I will adhere to said themes, but today is spotlight Tuesday... a blog written about someone I admire, love, find interesting, or find it necessary to rave about. Today is for one of my favorite authors. She is with me almost daily... either when I am disciplined enough to read my meditation book or when I come to a challenge.... I know most often where to turn. Melody Beattie, author of numerous spiritual books (I never liked the term "self help"), namely CoDependent No More, The Language of Letting Go, and my personal favorite, 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact: Meditations for Connecting with God, Self & Others.
To list everything I love about this author would shortchange her and myself, but I will simply say she puts the most difficult, annoying, or outright disturbing life situations in a way I can handle them... by focusing on the values and lessons that come from the challenges. She combines 12 Step programs, Eastern religions, and Christian ideals into the most thought provoking and inspiring works, all of which help countless readers from all walks of life. What is most appreciated by myself is how Ms. Beattie uses her own life experiences to help others- whether it be divorce, addiction, the loss of a child, financial struggles, she does not sugar coat her own pain to spare her ego; rather, she uses these struggles to show readers how there is a way to "deal," not only "deal" but find that special place. That place which is hard to describe, but where I know I am going to be all right. The way to this place comes as she puts it... with my own twists thrown into the paraphrase... it's finding a balance between working hard and letting go; finding a place where everything is okay, even the painful times in life; allowing ourselves to leave childish behaviors behind, but become childlike; most importantly finding the place of Conscious Contact, Nirvana, contentment, whatever you would like to call it, and doing so by practicing simple values in life.
Another joy I have found is her writings are applicable to ALL. How many times have I heard people of various religions say, "I wish everyone had our religion" or of 12 step programs say, "I wish everyone had our steps?" Fortunately, everyone can have all of the ideals underlying each of these religions or programs. All it takes is discipline, inquiry into oneself, and an openness to seek and soak up the personal experiences and wisdom of a person like Melody Beattie. My days go a lot better when she joins my morning time, it's just a matter of practicing this habit on a regular basis.
It would be remiss of me not to mention who gave me my first introduction to this author. So thank you, soul sista, you know who you are. I see our relationship, and many others, flourish from incorporating these daily principles and values into our own lives.
So there you have it, my spotlight Tuesday. May you all be blessed and don't forget to FLY

Balance

My word of the week is Balance...

Balance: n. 1. a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight or amount. 2. mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.

Wow. As much as I use this word, I was surprised by definition #2, and how much I actually crave that. To some, I seem to have this steadiness and calm behavior and judgment in my life; to others, the know how "off the wall" I can be. 
The reason for choosing this word was twofold. I was thinking about how much the ropes course this weekend required balance. At one point in my life, I had zero (physical) balance. I would attempt to stand on one leg and I would immediately lose it. Things have changed a great deal. I can now stand on one leg for an extraordinary amount of time. How did I get there? Practice. Practice. Practice. I took yoga, I trained in the gym, I used the stability ball, I used the half ball (that is my favorite.) At times, I would fall, in front of others, and feel embarrassed. Yet, I kept practicing. Thank goodness I did, as I would have not been able to do parts of the ropes course without said balance.
The behavioral and emotional balance is my main challenge. There's the balance of my life activities and the balance of my emotions. I am hoping with practice, I can become as "skilled" in these areas as I am in the physical, but I question when this day will come. 
Yesterday, I was looking at my fall schedule. I will be in full time online graduate classes, working 30 hours a week (two different projects), volunteering on another project, heading up the BHSO (the organization I decided to become president of... smart one), working on our local tasks forces, and attempting to take a couple of trips... one for a professional conference, one for a serenity weekend, and hopefully a couple of football games. Oh, and I will attempt to eat right, exercise, and sleep with this schedule. The funny thing is, I never once considered these ALL together when signing up for all of the above. I didn't consider the whole plate and what might cause it to tip over. This seems to be an ongoing pattern in my life. I get excited about various tasks, I sign up, for them all, then I sit down and look at my life and say "Oh crap, what happened?" Yes. Balance is missing. Suggestions? Other than an amazing organizer and calendar alerts...
I just realized the emotional balance ties into all of the above. If I am on an even keel emotionally, I would probably not get in these "tackle the world spots," nor would I sit down one day and be overwhelmed by all I decided to tackle. The emotionally balanced person would more than likely evaluate these things as they come, and not decide on pure emotion. They would learn to think rationally... Maybe? Who knows. 
Today, I just know I will be attempting some balance in my life. I will be pulling out the schedules, adjusting them all, keeping my "me" time in there somewhere, and prioritizing my life. I must. After all, I would like to survive graduate school, balanced and steady, and continue to Fly... 

Discernment

Originally, Mondays were going to be for organization. I changed my mind. Yes, I am obviously working on my "issue" with rigidity. I decided since I love words so much, I may as well have a "word of the day" day. So today is it. My word of the day is.... drum roll please...

Discernment: n. keen perception or judgment. From discern and -ment

Discern: 1. to perceive by the sight or some other sense or by the intellect; see, recognize, or apprehend; to distinguish mentally; recognize as distinct or different.

 

-Ment: a suffix of nouns, often concrete, denoting an action or resulting state (abridgment; refreshment),  a product (fragment),  or means (ornament). 

 

Synonyms: acuity, acuteness, astuteness, awareness, brains, comprehension, farsightedness, grasp, ingenuity, insight, intellect, intuition, judgment, keenness, perception, perspicacity, perspicuity, sagacity, sensitivity, sharpness, understanding, vision, wisdom, wit.

Notice the words above which are italicized. This is because I like them. Although I have been called "too sensitive" but clearly, it can be a good trait. Okay, back to discernment. I was originally thinking of balance as my word for the day, or priority, or duty. I realized that before balance, one must discern what to make a priority. One must have some insight into the act of balancing before they can begin such an arduous task. 

 

How did I arrive to balance and discernment as my words today? Naturally, I sign up for more than I am capable of handling. I try to be ten million things to everyone. I end up feeling taken advantage of, but then realize the willing can only be taken for granted. I cannot surely think one is taking advantage of me when I am a willing participant. So in comes the discernment. Why do I sign up to do other people's tasks for them? Why do I stick my hand out when I am barely floating above water in my own pool of life? Is it because I genuinely want to help? Or is it because I am looking for a pay off, I am hoping I will be appreciated or my ego will be fed? Enter discernment again. All of these things require a certain amount of insight and judgment. Whether it be a to-do list, taking on additional tasks, knowing who is using you, who you can trust, etc. etc.

 

As far as where we receive such discernment, there are various schools of thought on this. I am aware the Bible speaks of the Spiritual Gift of Discernment. I do not recall what is said verbatim, but I know it's in there. I believe we all have this gift to some extent. It goes back to a very fundamental area of child rearing- teaching your child what is right and wrong. So if we learn this early in life, how does one develop discernment? I cannot speak for anyone else, but for me, experience and guidance... Learning life lessons as time goes on. The test is not knowing how to discern though, it is using this gift in my daily life... deciding to do it. Deciding that it is better to live life aware and seek insight in order to live a manageable life. Right thought. Right Action. Discernment. 

Share your thoughts if you will.

And no matter what, don't forget to FLY <3

Well, well, well..... I have let the ball drop on this new creation which is Carla's Corner. I can explain. One of the problems with being so rigid is that when things do not go "as planned," I easily get off track. Take this week for example. Every Wednesday, I receive PBear mail. I was planning to post on Wednesday about PBear, as that is my Wednesday theme and I love writing to and about him. But my mail did not come Wednesday. It did not come Thursday. I am not sure if it came yesterday, as I have been unable to check my mail. So this one issue of tardiness derailed my blogging plans. Thanks United States Postal Service, I appreciate it!

This isn't the only unexpected twist to my week. My mother called me Thursday night and asked me what time I could be in Tallahassee the following day (yesterday)... she arranged for me to drop off my car at a friends for him to fix it. I love coming home, don't get me wrong. I love my mom, I love her thoughtfulness. BUT this wasn't planned by ME. Meaning I felt out of control, and once again felt as if my week was "derailed."

The good news is I got to see PBear last night, my car is fixed, and I am spending time with my Gma (I am sure all will read a lot more about her later.) The not so good news is I have very little time to see anyone but family. No time really. I did not have a car yesterday, and this afternoon I am with my Gma. I leave in the morning. But I did get to see some friends last night and for this, I am grateful.

Back to the point of today's writing. My rigidity. Being super organized is a wonderful trait. Being completely rigid is a glaring defect. So what I learned about myself today is I still have room to grow, always. I have room to learn to be flexible, while maintaining organization. It is possible. Right? We shall see.

As far as the rest of this week's blogs.... I was planning on doing more "getting to know the author" posts. A great mentor of mine once suggested I make a list or 100 things about myself. Maybe this blog will motivate me to undertake such a task. I know 50 was a difficult feat. I can imagine 100 will be. Then again, I have put aside over a year of my life to remain single, to learn more about me, and love me. More on that later. For now, I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Don't forget to FLY <3

Joining the world of blogging...

It's about time I showed up, I know. I have been a writer all my life, but typically stick to pen and paper, with stacks of journals taking up the majority of my hall closet. Yet, I am just now creating a blog. Note the date, it is 2011. I am late. I apologize.
So what inspired this blog? Honestly. Quitting smoking. Not my various trips over the last few years, not my month in Europe, not moving to a strange town to embark on the adventure which is graduate school, nor any of the monumentous events such as graduation, extreme lifestyle changes, or love lived and lost. That's right. I chose to begin blogging because I am attempting to quit smoking for the umpteenth time. A friend suggested I journal about it. And since I have been slacking in that area of my life, I decided to take it to the web. Will I write a lot about this experience? Not likely. Yet it was the inspiration pushing me into the blogspot community. Yes, you can thank the tobacco companies; or my addictive personality that has caused this issue of quitting smoking to be prolonged to this date.
I will write more about that tomorrow.
For now, here are the basics... You can read my interests in the about me section, and that pretty much sums up my loves in life. I sign my posts DBear, and will explain that in a later blog... when I can post the pictures to go along with it... I am enjoying the life of a single young woman, figuring out who I am, and loving this person one day at a time... (I know, if I love myself, why smoke? Like I said, that comes later)... I chose "carlamcfly" as my webaddress because one of my favorite quotations is "just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, he/she/it became a butterfly." This quotation has proven true in my life over and over again. I tend to have a dramatic flair, leading me to think "the world is over" (said in a very southern, dramatic voice) when life hits. Gratefully, I have outgrown a lot of this drama, but I still go there at times. Each time I do, without fail, something happens which allows me to spread my wings and fly. Whether it be the failed relationship that led to a greater one, or even better, an amazing journey with myself; or the failed job opportunity which led me to a "better" one... you get the idea. My latest moment included realizing that missing out on a trip to India actually ended up in me being present in life to accept an offer of tuition from my department at the University. See what I mean? I wanted to go to India more than I wanted to breathe. Yet I could not go. So I stayed in Tampa, received a job at USF, and eventually was offered tuition through this position. Just an example of the many places my life has taken me to appreciate the word "FLY"
And this blog will probably include more of those moments than it will posts about quitting smoking. Enjoy.