We all know moving sucks. There is no way around that. But for some reason, this move is more difficult than my cross country move (ok, I am being a bit dramatic, but hear me out)... maybe it is because I have a lot less time to move. No, that's not it. I did work up until the week before leaving Florida. Then again, I had tons of hands helping me pack, get rid of things, pack more, load, etc. etc. Here, I do not have as many hands. I have, well, me. (I do have one friend who helped me get things for the apartment and will hopefully be there Sunday and Monday- thanks, Celia) So that's one difference.
I think the main difference is I want everything to be perfect. I need to be settled. I didn't realize how much so until this week. (My moving history is minimal... I did have multiple moves between the ages of 16 and 21, but I didn't care back then, I was too messed up to care. And before that, I lived in the same house since birth.) The move to Tampa was rough, but I moved to my own place, a huge 2 BR condo, and stayed there for two years. Since arriving in Oakland, I have been living in a tiny room with hardly any space to walk around in, let alone breathe. In someone else's place, with half of my belongings in storage. I chose it this way because I wanted to get out here and learn the area before committing to a lease.
Little did I know what renting and moving would be like... it is extremely rushed. You go to an open house, pull out your cash, credit reports, bank statements, pay stubs, completed app, and hope you beat someone to the punch. That was the tough part. That happened last week? The week before? I've lost track. Then comes the walk through, waiting on keys, etc. All of that happened this week? Last week? I've lost track. All while working a lot, trying to space plan my new place, get everything "perfect" (that's my main problem), and breathe. I really need to be settled.. did I mention that?
About my place, because I do need some gratitude here- it is AMAZING. Perfect location, downtown and lakeside- walking distance to Chinatown, Jack London Square, Lake Merritt, everything- first Friday, farmer's market, you name it, it's there. And it's a beautiful place. Yet, there is absolutely nothing in it- no curtain rods, not even in the bathroom, the washer and dryer hook ups are in too small a space to adequately place a washer and dryer, and there's a no putting holes in the wall rule that we were not told about until after the least was signed. And we were not told we needed a ventless dryer until after lease was signed.
So how did this week go? Hired movers. Rented truck. Haven't packed yet. Did shop. Attempted to put together some furniture. Failed miserably. Found a ventless dryer. Drove "45 mins" (took 2.5 hours due to traffic) to get said dryer. Had to change out the cord (that's a mcguyver move I learned in tampa when you have a 3 prong and need a 4)... paid for a washer that is to be delivered tomorrow, and now the washer will not fit because the dryer door needs to be able to open (duh, right?) Oh, and about the washer- delivery guys were supposed to meet me there at 1 today. Called them at 1:15 after rushing home between meetings and waiting for them, they asked to come tonight. Had my roommate get off work to meet them at 4:30, they called and asked to come tomorrow. They damn sure better be there at 10am tomorrow and try to stack that washer on our dryer. Or I might just lose it. Oh, and I'm on day 5 of gluten free. Someone give me a freaking cookie. Please.
So there we have it friends, my movers will be here in less than 36 hours and what I do have in my room is not packed. And I am supposed to work an event tomorrow.
Sorry for the negative nancy update, but it can't all be rainbows and flowers all the time, right? Just think, next time this week, I will be living in luxury with Space! In my own place. That's enough for me.
Love to all, light to all
DBear
Friday, August 24, 2012
More lessons from the bay area
This city is amazing, but there are always lessons to be learned.
Love to all, light to all,
DBear
- Do not expect honesty, from anyone (I am sure this is a life lesson, not necessarily a metropolitan living lesson)
- I have learned to be a good liar- "no, sorry, I do not carry cash on me."
- Wear thick skin... just because a hooker cusses you out on International Blvd does not mean your day is ruined...
- The apartment rental industry is extremely cut-throat... I have learned to be one of "those people."
- It does not rain- that misty, foglike substance is exactly that- misty fog. At times, I miss a good rain.
- Stay away from ANY freeway between the hours of 3p and 7p- sometimes, up to 10p. I cannot wait to only take public transit.
- Do not expect California drivers to let you out in traffic, use a blinker, or do anything kind for that matter. IF they do, be grateful.
- When driving, pay attention to the bike lanes, the pedestrian crossings, AND stop signs, stop lights, etc. It is an extremely daunting task.
- If you are a cigarette smoker, prepare to be discriminated against. However, you can smoke your pot anywhere.
Love to all, light to all,
DBear
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Wounded Woman...
Wrote this on my way to grad weekend... just took a while to post it..
Wounded woman,
I understand you’re broken,
you have been for quite some time....
Yet you will not break me in your own pain.
I empathize with you, have compassion for those wounds of yours.
But I will not lay down and die, I will not let you break me,
I will not allow your wounds to become mine.
Wounded woman,
I hear you’ve been hard-hearted, you’ve turned to stone.
The icy type.
Oh, honey, it’s so unnecessary, don’t you see?
People want to love you and be loved,
not be shut out by the stone you have built around you.
I will not be broken by your stone.
See, you’re just another brick in my wall.
You’ve added to who I am today, wounded woman.
You helped build me up, but will not tear me down.
You can hurt yourself all day… I will not succumb to the pain.
The pain you have inflicted with your words, your wounds, your inactions, your icy stone.
I choose to melt all of it away today, won’t you do the same…
Wounded woman, Turn those wounds around.
Don’t go around here inflicting the pain you feel.
Use it to heal.
Heal self, heal others, let go of your stone, wounded woman,
find your peace,
spread it,
live it.
Become whole…
I am.
Wounded woman,
I understand you’re broken,
you have been for quite some time....
Yet you will not break me in your own pain.
I empathize with you, have compassion for those wounds of yours.
But I will not lay down and die, I will not let you break me,
I will not allow your wounds to become mine.
Wounded woman,
I hear you’ve been hard-hearted, you’ve turned to stone.
The icy type.
Oh, honey, it’s so unnecessary, don’t you see?
People want to love you and be loved,
not be shut out by the stone you have built around you.
I will not be broken by your stone.
See, you’re just another brick in my wall.
You’ve added to who I am today, wounded woman.
You helped build me up, but will not tear me down.
You can hurt yourself all day… I will not succumb to the pain.
The pain you have inflicted with your words, your wounds, your inactions, your icy stone.
I choose to melt all of it away today, won’t you do the same…
Wounded woman, Turn those wounds around.
Don’t go around here inflicting the pain you feel.
Use it to heal.
Heal self, heal others, let go of your stone, wounded woman,
find your peace,
spread it,
live it.
Become whole…
I am.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Pain and Gratitude...
So I haven't really posted an "update on the East Bay life" lately... last night, I posted a poem I wrote in July, and tonight I am posting on a totally different topic. (For those wanting an update in general, everything is awesome! I live in the best place ever!)
Tonight, I wanted to write something different... something a lot of people don't talk about, and I felt it important to share my story... mainly, because I am currently elevating and icing my knee, but also because it may help others. I have had the privilege of sharing my experiences with another who is going through a similar situation... we handle ours completely differently, but I think it has helped her to hear my struggles and victories.
So here I go.... Chronic Pain is one of those invisible illnesses... you can't tell (unless I am limping), and it's not something a lot of people discuss. Sadly, many doctors have added to why people do not talk about it a lot- because the words "chronic pain" have a negative connotation... in Florida, it was seen as someone seeking drugs.
The reason I don't discuss mine in detail is because I feel that if I focus on it, it increases. However, if it is to help someone else, I will definitely discuss. Wounded healer concept... literally. I will also discuss it if speaking with a medical professional or a personal trainer.
One of my chronic pain spots is like the majority of those who suffer- lower back. However, that is not the pain that gives me the most trouble (anymore)- the pain that troubles me the most is my knees.
I will start with the latter. I was born with a condition where the grooves behind my knee caps are too shall, and I am hyperflexible at the same time. Meaning the dislocation of my knee was a regular occurrence for years. It got to the point that I could just pop it right back in to place. Still can. This also means hyperextension is a regular occurrence (still)- I have to remain very cognizant of how I stand and had to re-learn how to do basically everything when I was 14. For example, I have to remind myself to keep a slight bend in my knee when standing. Additionally, I have chipped and broken both knees. What this means- I now have 80-ish old knees, need a new right knee, and have a lack of cartilage in both, as well as arthritis. What this really means- I hurt every morning when I wake up. Most days, it hurts all day. Sometimes, down to the ankle, but mostly it is like knives in my knee caps and behind my knee. Then, there's a nerve type pain that would make a grown man cry. Now please, do not sit there with your jaw gaping, or rubbing your knee, imagining the pain. And for the love of God, do NOT feel sorry for me. Ever. I am just qualifying here.
Saying all of that, I get to this- how I deal. I still work out on a very regular basis, I hike when I get the chance, "jog" when the pain doesn't make me want to puke (that is my indicator to stop), do modified squats to strengthen the muscles, receive injections (these no longer work, so will be removed from the list), receive reiki from my bear (I feel this to be the most healing), use a tens unit, lidoderm patches, and non-narcotic medications. When I have surgeries (I have had 4 or 5), I take the narcotics for a few days, then go back to the regimen listed above. The most important thing I do for my pain- I stay grateful! I can walk. I can run. I can't hop, but who really cares? I have legs. Yes, some days, I can barely use them, and I have to do a hell of a lot to lower my pain level, but I remain grateful. I keep a good attitude and rarely let it get me down. Do I get pissed? Oh yes. Do I quit? Hell no. That is why I am writing this... so hopefully, anyone who struggles with this can know you do not have to quit. For those who are reading this, and truly cannot handle it, I am not saying I am better than you or judging you for how you have dealt with your issue-- I am simply sharing my experiences.
Now to the lower back, since the majority of people struggle with this. There are some mornings when I wake up and my legs will not move. I wait. I gently move them until the numbness goes away. I have had to learn how to get in and out of cars, how to work my abs without my legs going numb, how to roll on to my side to get up, etc. This was from a car accident, but I probably had lower back problems long before (I fell a lot as a kid, and played ball for years). How I deal with this- reiki with Bear, massage, tens unit, I have learned if I move my leg a certain way, I can get the feeling back (hard to explain) basically the same things. The most important thing I do for my pain- Stay grateful! I remember one New Year's Day, I could not walk the whole day. My legs were numb and I had to stay on the couch for about 12 hours. I cried all day. The next day, it was worse. I decided I was going to call friends, watch a comedy, be grateful, what do you know? The pain subsided. I simply have to modify my life and my attitude. It's the same with hiking- I have to plan a day to rest after when I know I am going on a long hike. Is it inconvenient? Yes. Is it the end of the world? No.
So wow, I didn't expect to write a book. I have been thinking about how I could use this to help others for some time though. Tonight, I am in a ridiculous amount of pain because I overdid myself at a workout class. I know better. I know that when the pain gets to the point of nausea, I stop (not if the general physical exertion of the workout is making me nauseous- there is a difference). Tonight, I didn't stop. So I am elevating, icing, and calling my Bear for Reiki first thing in the morning. And I am Grateful. Because I can do these things. I have considered going after my certification with the National Association of Sports Medicine with a specialty in injury and rehab. Yes, it will cost money, take time, and all of that.... but if someone with my history can work out and enjoy it, I can surely help others do the same. For now, I will continue to share with my friend and hope it helps her find a new attitude about her pain. Or at least some gratitude...
So that's my story on this topic. Looking forward to a road trip this weekend and some hiking on the way back.
Love to all, light to all
DBear
Tonight, I wanted to write something different... something a lot of people don't talk about, and I felt it important to share my story... mainly, because I am currently elevating and icing my knee, but also because it may help others. I have had the privilege of sharing my experiences with another who is going through a similar situation... we handle ours completely differently, but I think it has helped her to hear my struggles and victories.
So here I go.... Chronic Pain is one of those invisible illnesses... you can't tell (unless I am limping), and it's not something a lot of people discuss. Sadly, many doctors have added to why people do not talk about it a lot- because the words "chronic pain" have a negative connotation... in Florida, it was seen as someone seeking drugs.
The reason I don't discuss mine in detail is because I feel that if I focus on it, it increases. However, if it is to help someone else, I will definitely discuss. Wounded healer concept... literally. I will also discuss it if speaking with a medical professional or a personal trainer.
One of my chronic pain spots is like the majority of those who suffer- lower back. However, that is not the pain that gives me the most trouble (anymore)- the pain that troubles me the most is my knees.
I will start with the latter. I was born with a condition where the grooves behind my knee caps are too shall, and I am hyperflexible at the same time. Meaning the dislocation of my knee was a regular occurrence for years. It got to the point that I could just pop it right back in to place. Still can. This also means hyperextension is a regular occurrence (still)- I have to remain very cognizant of how I stand and had to re-learn how to do basically everything when I was 14. For example, I have to remind myself to keep a slight bend in my knee when standing. Additionally, I have chipped and broken both knees. What this means- I now have 80-ish old knees, need a new right knee, and have a lack of cartilage in both, as well as arthritis. What this really means- I hurt every morning when I wake up. Most days, it hurts all day. Sometimes, down to the ankle, but mostly it is like knives in my knee caps and behind my knee. Then, there's a nerve type pain that would make a grown man cry. Now please, do not sit there with your jaw gaping, or rubbing your knee, imagining the pain. And for the love of God, do NOT feel sorry for me. Ever. I am just qualifying here.
Saying all of that, I get to this- how I deal. I still work out on a very regular basis, I hike when I get the chance, "jog" when the pain doesn't make me want to puke (that is my indicator to stop), do modified squats to strengthen the muscles, receive injections (these no longer work, so will be removed from the list), receive reiki from my bear (I feel this to be the most healing), use a tens unit, lidoderm patches, and non-narcotic medications. When I have surgeries (I have had 4 or 5), I take the narcotics for a few days, then go back to the regimen listed above. The most important thing I do for my pain- I stay grateful! I can walk. I can run. I can't hop, but who really cares? I have legs. Yes, some days, I can barely use them, and I have to do a hell of a lot to lower my pain level, but I remain grateful. I keep a good attitude and rarely let it get me down. Do I get pissed? Oh yes. Do I quit? Hell no. That is why I am writing this... so hopefully, anyone who struggles with this can know you do not have to quit. For those who are reading this, and truly cannot handle it, I am not saying I am better than you or judging you for how you have dealt with your issue-- I am simply sharing my experiences.
Now to the lower back, since the majority of people struggle with this. There are some mornings when I wake up and my legs will not move. I wait. I gently move them until the numbness goes away. I have had to learn how to get in and out of cars, how to work my abs without my legs going numb, how to roll on to my side to get up, etc. This was from a car accident, but I probably had lower back problems long before (I fell a lot as a kid, and played ball for years). How I deal with this- reiki with Bear, massage, tens unit, I have learned if I move my leg a certain way, I can get the feeling back (hard to explain) basically the same things. The most important thing I do for my pain- Stay grateful! I remember one New Year's Day, I could not walk the whole day. My legs were numb and I had to stay on the couch for about 12 hours. I cried all day. The next day, it was worse. I decided I was going to call friends, watch a comedy, be grateful, what do you know? The pain subsided. I simply have to modify my life and my attitude. It's the same with hiking- I have to plan a day to rest after when I know I am going on a long hike. Is it inconvenient? Yes. Is it the end of the world? No.
So wow, I didn't expect to write a book. I have been thinking about how I could use this to help others for some time though. Tonight, I am in a ridiculous amount of pain because I overdid myself at a workout class. I know better. I know that when the pain gets to the point of nausea, I stop (not if the general physical exertion of the workout is making me nauseous- there is a difference). Tonight, I didn't stop. So I am elevating, icing, and calling my Bear for Reiki first thing in the morning. And I am Grateful. Because I can do these things. I have considered going after my certification with the National Association of Sports Medicine with a specialty in injury and rehab. Yes, it will cost money, take time, and all of that.... but if someone with my history can work out and enjoy it, I can surely help others do the same. For now, I will continue to share with my friend and hope it helps her find a new attitude about her pain. Or at least some gratitude...
So that's my story on this topic. Looking forward to a road trip this weekend and some hiking on the way back.
Love to all, light to all
DBear
Monday, August 13, 2012
My acknowledgements...
Took me a while to post this one...
I acknowledge that I have hurt you. I acknowledge that I have been hurt by you.
I acknowledge that I love you unconditionally. I acknowledge that by you, I was loved deeply.
I acknowledge the uncertainty, the sadness, the grief.
I acknowledge the questioning, wondering, the truth, the deceit.
I acknowledge you, acknowledge me...
I acknowledge the oneness, in the silence, it still remains,
I acknowledge my completeness, my independence, in the absence of our unity, the connectedness holds true, I acknowledge my ties to you. Bonds that I've wished away, they remain, I acknowledge these bonds, they do not equate chains.
I am free.
Complete, a whole being.
A gentle Spirit, wounded but grounded, harmed but loving, I acknowledge the duality that exists within, the duality you have left me with.. I acknowledge where you end and I begin...
All my relations
Aho
-DBear 7/12/12
I acknowledge that I have hurt you. I acknowledge that I have been hurt by you.
I acknowledge that I love you unconditionally. I acknowledge that by you, I was loved deeply.
I acknowledge the uncertainty, the sadness, the grief.
I acknowledge the questioning, wondering, the truth, the deceit.
I acknowledge you, acknowledge me...
I acknowledge the oneness, in the silence, it still remains,
I acknowledge my completeness, my independence, in the absence of our unity, the connectedness holds true, I acknowledge my ties to you. Bonds that I've wished away, they remain, I acknowledge these bonds, they do not equate chains.
I am free.
Complete, a whole being.
A gentle Spirit, wounded but grounded, harmed but loving, I acknowledge the duality that exists within, the duality you have left me with.. I acknowledge where you end and I begin...
All my relations
Aho
-DBear 7/12/12
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Dear mom,
Wow. What a weekend. I often wonder how I deserve such greatness. I mean it's not like I'm terribly special, I'm just me. Yet, I find myself being treated like a queen on a regular basis and it amazes me. Thank God I am not still paying for my past, or I would have nobody around to love me and appreciate me. For years, I only cared about surviving, doing what I had to do, regardless of others. Or what I thought was surviving. It was all self-centered, a life of self destruction, fulfilling the demons' demands. I am priveledged that I had the opportunity to start over, and nearly 7 years later, here I am. Finding myself constantly surrounded by such love, such presence, unconditional love. I have become a person that enjoys people, builds relationships, and these people love me back! These are the thoughts that have been going through my mind this weekend.
For those who do not know my whole story, it's a lot... to make it brief, who I am today is not who I ever imagined to be, nor did those who knew me then have any clue where I would be today. My family surely envisioned phone calls of overdoses or accidents, or that I would be in jail. All from chasing substances and highs to make me "better." Some years ago, I became part of an amazing fellowship where I connected with a HP to make me better, I connected with Love, I allowed myself to "get better." Because of many people loving me, and me somehow allowing this to happen, I am here today. This weekend, I graduated with a freaking masters degree. How does someone who comes from where I come from even do that? And the degree isn't even the biggest part... the love I felt from all those who have been with me along the way- that is the miracle.
The relationship I have with my mom is the biggest miracle. My mother is notorious for throwing amazing parties, and she is the one I harmed the most. She is the epitome of unconditional love. I tear up as I write this, because I can only hope I will be half the woman she is. A woman who gives so selflessly of herself, forgets and forgives the wrongs her children have bestowed upon her, and in turn, showers her love upon us. Wow.
Today, she is my best friend. Because of her, I was able to complete the education I sought. She was my cheering section through the late nights, hospital stays, multiple injuries, two and three jobs at a time while carrying a full load of classes, my editor, sounding board, my mom.
So yes, this was a whirl wind weekend, and I am still processing it all. I am grateful for the host of our party, the friends that showed up in person and watched online from afar, the advisers that believed in me when I wanted to give up, and mostly, my mom. This weekend was definitely worth the 6 planes it took to get to and from Florida so I could have my mom perfectly arrange my hood with cap and gown, take pictures, and I could proudly strut across that stage (armed with my warrior necklace) knowing I am not the person I once was. I am no longer the scared little girl, pushing everyone away, wanting to die. I am the woman who can hold my head high, believe in myself, appreciate the hard work and determination it takes to keep my commitments to myself, my family, my education, my passion. I am a woman that makes my mother proud.. More importantly, I am proud of myself. That is far greater than any degree, accolades, or monetary value. I am truly grateful.
Love to all, light to all
DBear
For those who do not know my whole story, it's a lot... to make it brief, who I am today is not who I ever imagined to be, nor did those who knew me then have any clue where I would be today. My family surely envisioned phone calls of overdoses or accidents, or that I would be in jail. All from chasing substances and highs to make me "better." Some years ago, I became part of an amazing fellowship where I connected with a HP to make me better, I connected with Love, I allowed myself to "get better." Because of many people loving me, and me somehow allowing this to happen, I am here today. This weekend, I graduated with a freaking masters degree. How does someone who comes from where I come from even do that? And the degree isn't even the biggest part... the love I felt from all those who have been with me along the way- that is the miracle.
The relationship I have with my mom is the biggest miracle. My mother is notorious for throwing amazing parties, and she is the one I harmed the most. She is the epitome of unconditional love. I tear up as I write this, because I can only hope I will be half the woman she is. A woman who gives so selflessly of herself, forgets and forgives the wrongs her children have bestowed upon her, and in turn, showers her love upon us. Wow.
Today, she is my best friend. Because of her, I was able to complete the education I sought. She was my cheering section through the late nights, hospital stays, multiple injuries, two and three jobs at a time while carrying a full load of classes, my editor, sounding board, my mom.
So yes, this was a whirl wind weekend, and I am still processing it all. I am grateful for the host of our party, the friends that showed up in person and watched online from afar, the advisers that believed in me when I wanted to give up, and mostly, my mom. This weekend was definitely worth the 6 planes it took to get to and from Florida so I could have my mom perfectly arrange my hood with cap and gown, take pictures, and I could proudly strut across that stage (armed with my warrior necklace) knowing I am not the person I once was. I am no longer the scared little girl, pushing everyone away, wanting to die. I am the woman who can hold my head high, believe in myself, appreciate the hard work and determination it takes to keep my commitments to myself, my family, my education, my passion. I am a woman that makes my mother proud.. More importantly, I am proud of myself. That is far greater than any degree, accolades, or monetary value. I am truly grateful.
Love to all, light to all
DBear
Thursday, August 2, 2012
An open letter to all who are open enough to read it...
Since this blog's inception, I think I have written one political post. Maybe two. This is surprising, as I am highly involved in politics, social justice, equality, basically anything that has to do with humankind. I am pro-people, including LGBT communities, marriages, adoptions, etc. However, I do not hate you if you do not agree.
What disturbs me is people donating money to hate groups, spreading lies about individuals that are not "normal" because they love differently. What disturbs me is when anti-gays do everything in their power to put a stop to gay marriage where it exists and ban it where it doesn't exist. And I hate to break it to you, but if you say you love the gays, yet vote against their equality, you my friend are anti-gay. You may not be hateful about it, but definitely discriminatory. On that note, when supporting businesses that give millions of dollars to hate-groups, you are also showing me you are anti-gay. Your actions are speaking louder than your words.
This brings me to Chick-Fil-A. No, CFA is not a hate group per se, but they give millions (through their foundation, WinShape) to groups that say horrible lies about the LGBT community. Groups that feel you can pray away the gay, or support ministers who say to beat away the gay or even rape it away (google them, I don't even want to discuss them as it makes me puke). These groups go further than expressing their beliefs, they discriminate against the LGBT community. They go even further when spouting lies like gays are molestors, immoral, sinners (speaking of, aren't we all sinners?), and a threat to mankind.
I was raised in the church. I understand the beliefs. I get it. I also know that Jesus would spend time with prostitutes, beggars, outcasts in general. If you are Christian, and quoting the Old Testament, then you can not really be considered Christian. Jesus wiped away the old law with the New Testament. I really don't care to get in to more a theological debate, I will win. (For the record, I am down with Jesus. Think he was a great guy.)
I am writing this more to ask one simple question- What personal harm is being done to anyone because of someone else's consentual relationships and preferences? What harm is caused by allowing equality? What harm is caused by allowing marriage, adoption, insurance and medical benefits to people that are in love? I can't think of anything.
What's harmful is continuing to discriminate and oppress individuals because they do not fit in to the Adam and Eve relationship. What's harmful is to spread lies about some of the kindest people I know, people that wouldn't hurt a fly. What's harmful is to deny millions of foster kids a chance at an awesome life with two loving parents. What's harmful is giving money to companies is do all of the above.
That is all.
DBear
What disturbs me is people donating money to hate groups, spreading lies about individuals that are not "normal" because they love differently. What disturbs me is when anti-gays do everything in their power to put a stop to gay marriage where it exists and ban it where it doesn't exist. And I hate to break it to you, but if you say you love the gays, yet vote against their equality, you my friend are anti-gay. You may not be hateful about it, but definitely discriminatory. On that note, when supporting businesses that give millions of dollars to hate-groups, you are also showing me you are anti-gay. Your actions are speaking louder than your words.
This brings me to Chick-Fil-A. No, CFA is not a hate group per se, but they give millions (through their foundation, WinShape) to groups that say horrible lies about the LGBT community. Groups that feel you can pray away the gay, or support ministers who say to beat away the gay or even rape it away (google them, I don't even want to discuss them as it makes me puke). These groups go further than expressing their beliefs, they discriminate against the LGBT community. They go even further when spouting lies like gays are molestors, immoral, sinners (speaking of, aren't we all sinners?), and a threat to mankind.
I was raised in the church. I understand the beliefs. I get it. I also know that Jesus would spend time with prostitutes, beggars, outcasts in general. If you are Christian, and quoting the Old Testament, then you can not really be considered Christian. Jesus wiped away the old law with the New Testament. I really don't care to get in to more a theological debate, I will win. (For the record, I am down with Jesus. Think he was a great guy.)
I am writing this more to ask one simple question- What personal harm is being done to anyone because of someone else's consentual relationships and preferences? What harm is caused by allowing equality? What harm is caused by allowing marriage, adoption, insurance and medical benefits to people that are in love? I can't think of anything.
What's harmful is continuing to discriminate and oppress individuals because they do not fit in to the Adam and Eve relationship. What's harmful is to spread lies about some of the kindest people I know, people that wouldn't hurt a fly. What's harmful is to deny millions of foster kids a chance at an awesome life with two loving parents. What's harmful is giving money to companies is do all of the above.
That is all.
DBear
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