So I haven't really posted an "update on the East Bay life" lately... last night, I posted a poem I wrote in July, and tonight I am posting on a totally different topic. (For those wanting an update in general, everything is awesome! I live in the best place ever!)
Tonight, I wanted to write something different... something a lot of people don't talk about, and I felt it important to share my story... mainly, because I am currently elevating and icing my knee, but also because it may help others. I have had the privilege of sharing my experiences with another who is going through a similar situation... we handle ours completely differently, but I think it has helped her to hear my struggles and victories.
So here I go.... Chronic Pain is one of those invisible illnesses... you can't tell (unless I am limping), and it's not something a lot of people discuss. Sadly, many doctors have added to why people do not talk about it a lot- because the words "chronic pain" have a negative connotation... in Florida, it was seen as someone seeking drugs.
The reason I don't discuss mine in detail is because I feel that if I focus on it, it increases. However, if it is to help someone else, I will definitely discuss. Wounded healer concept... literally. I will also discuss it if speaking with a medical professional or a personal trainer.
One of my chronic pain spots is like the majority of those who suffer- lower back. However, that is not the pain that gives me the most trouble (anymore)- the pain that troubles me the most is my knees.
I will start with the latter. I was born with a condition where the grooves behind my knee caps are too shall, and I am hyperflexible at the same time. Meaning the dislocation of my knee was a regular occurrence for years. It got to the point that I could just pop it right back in to place. Still can. This also means hyperextension is a regular occurrence (still)- I have to remain very cognizant of how I stand and had to re-learn how to do basically everything when I was 14. For example, I have to remind myself to keep a slight bend in my knee when standing. Additionally, I have chipped and broken both knees. What this means- I now have 80-ish old knees, need a new right knee, and have a lack of cartilage in both, as well as arthritis. What this really means- I hurt every morning when I wake up. Most days, it hurts all day. Sometimes, down to the ankle, but mostly it is like knives in my knee caps and behind my knee. Then, there's a nerve type pain that would make a grown man cry. Now please, do not sit there with your jaw gaping, or rubbing your knee, imagining the pain. And for the love of God, do NOT feel sorry for me. Ever. I am just qualifying here.
Saying all of that, I get to this- how I deal. I still work out on a very regular basis, I hike when I get the chance, "jog" when the pain doesn't make me want to puke (that is my indicator to stop), do modified squats to strengthen the muscles, receive injections (these no longer work, so will be removed from the list), receive reiki from my bear (I feel this to be the most healing), use a tens unit, lidoderm patches, and non-narcotic medications. When I have surgeries (I have had 4 or 5), I take the narcotics for a few days, then go back to the regimen listed above. The most important thing I do for my pain- I stay grateful! I can walk. I can run. I can't hop, but who really cares? I have legs. Yes, some days, I can barely use them, and I have to do a hell of a lot to lower my pain level, but I remain grateful. I keep a good attitude and rarely let it get me down. Do I get pissed? Oh yes. Do I quit? Hell no. That is why I am writing this... so hopefully, anyone who struggles with this can know you do not have to quit. For those who are reading this, and truly cannot handle it, I am not saying I am better than you or judging you for how you have dealt with your issue-- I am simply sharing my experiences.
Now to the lower back, since the majority of people struggle with this. There are some mornings when I wake up and my legs will not move. I wait. I gently move them until the numbness goes away. I have had to learn how to get in and out of cars, how to work my abs without my legs going numb, how to roll on to my side to get up, etc. This was from a car accident, but I probably had lower back problems long before (I fell a lot as a kid, and played ball for years). How I deal with this- reiki with Bear, massage, tens unit, I have learned if I move my leg a certain way, I can get the feeling back (hard to explain) basically the same things. The most important thing I do for my pain- Stay grateful! I remember one New Year's Day, I could not walk the whole day. My legs were numb and I had to stay on the couch for about 12 hours. I cried all day. The next day, it was worse. I decided I was going to call friends, watch a comedy, be grateful, what do you know? The pain subsided. I simply have to modify my life and my attitude. It's the same with hiking- I have to plan a day to rest after when I know I am going on a long hike. Is it inconvenient? Yes. Is it the end of the world? No.
So wow, I didn't expect to write a book. I have been thinking about how I could use this to help others for some time though. Tonight, I am in a ridiculous amount of pain because I overdid myself at a workout class. I know better. I know that when the pain gets to the point of nausea, I stop (not if the general physical exertion of the workout is making me nauseous- there is a difference). Tonight, I didn't stop. So I am elevating, icing, and calling my Bear for Reiki first thing in the morning. And I am Grateful. Because I can do these things. I have considered going after my certification with the National Association of Sports Medicine with a specialty in injury and rehab. Yes, it will cost money, take time, and all of that.... but if someone with my history can work out and enjoy it, I can surely help others do the same. For now, I will continue to share with my friend and hope it helps her find a new attitude about her pain. Or at least some gratitude...
So that's my story on this topic. Looking forward to a road trip this weekend and some hiking on the way back.
Love to all, light to all
DBear
No comments:
Post a Comment