A lot! I feel like it's been a month since my last blog post, but it's been a week. This is going to be a long one, so settle in... (For those who are on my fb, some of this will be old news... then again, I may only have one or two readers that are not on myt fb page)
So this week went from a near death experience with a family member, from going to Pittsburgh, PA very last minute, to my first experience presenting at the National level, followed up by working on my novel, and even a conversation with my ex-fiancé...
Here I go..
Sunday night, my cousin attempted suicide. He was in ICU, unconscious, and on a respirator. They told his mother to go home for his will and prepare herself and the family. Miraculously, he survived and is now home after a stay in the behavioral health center.... I am no stranger to suicide-- attempts and completions-- almost to the point where it hits me like any other death or near death experience... but this one hit me a lot harder-- in two ways. The first is because Randy has Huntingtons Disease. You can read his and his mom's story here- http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/sharon-thomason/thwtallahassee So, you see, Randy has this disease that is truly debilitating... however, he had been doing so well. I would see him excited about going to school and I would be so excited for him. It's heart breaking to watch someone struggle with HD and everything that goes along with it. It's even more heartbreaking to watch his mom have to go through this- she is one of the sweetest, strongest women I know.
The second way this touched me was a bit unexpected- I was overwhelmed to the point of tears by the outpouring of love and prayers from all over the US- it's truly amazing. I work in an agency that will stop what they are doing to come together for a prayer circle whenever needed. Last Friday, I asked that we hold a small one for Randy and Sharon. Immediately following the prayer circle, I got word he was off the ventilator and breathing on his own. But that's not all. Later that evening, he came to a bit, mumbled some words, and had friends and family go see him. That is exactly what we prayed for- that he would not feel alone or isolated during this time.
That night, and the next morning, I went through facebook looking at Randy and Sharon's pages, as well as all of the comments on my own page. The word overwhelming is not nearly strong enough a word. I already know the power of social media, we use it in my workplace for a suicide prevention grant I am on, but to have it touch me so personally is a different experience. There must have been over a thousand people praying for Randy. That is extraordinary.
Before knowing whether Randy would fully be okay, I had to head to Pittsburgh for work. The story behind this is crazy now that I have time to realize what just happened- I was asked Friday to go meet a consultant and co-present on a 6-year grant we had at our agency (a grant I had very little knowledge of, just the data part). So all weekend, I studied what I thought I may need to know, prepared the data to present, worked all day Monday getting everything together to head out 5am Tuesday morning. I love the adrenaline. I love working so well under pressure. I was not prepared to have to do a roundtable discussion in front of the "Feds" by myself on Wednesday, but we ended up being double booked on one of our workshops. So I did it! The next day (Thursday), I gave about 2/3 of the second workshop (Culture is Prevention) and Stevie did the first 1/3.
I have to talk about Stevie for a moment... do you ever meet someone you feel you've known for your whole life and the energy is remarkably compatible? That's us! We were dynamic! Never even worked together until this week. We presented together so perfectly, it was almost scary. I just love that! And she lives near my brother, so now when I go to Portland, I get to see her too :) We will definitely work together in the future. I do not know when or on what projects, but I feel it. And I am excited! You'd have to meet her to fully understand, but she is like me in 20 or so years. Maybe 30. She's even the mayor of her town! (That part is hilarious when you know her) But we did it. We went in, got it done, and had loads of fun. I am still surprised my directors trusted me enough to send me on this mission. I also found out what a "crackerjack" is this week-- funny story... So my director was on the phone with Stevie last Friday saying she had a crackerjack evaluator to send to Pittsburgh. I had no idea what on earth that meant, so I asked my upstairs neighbor that night. It means she likes me, she really, really likes me! haha, it's the little things. So Stevie is the mayor, I am the crackerjack.
As if all of this excitement wasn't enough, I opened up my novel doc and wrote some there. At this rate, I will finish in about 50 years, but it's ok. It's all growth, on it's own timetable. I also spoke with my ex, as I mentioned. I realized I miss her. But we had to grow up a lot. I don't know if our paths would ever cross again, but I'm open to it. We had a good thing. I was able to see more of my faults now... putting others' needs ahead of our relationship, not dedicating enough time to grow said relationship, etc. Part of that is just me, I'm a busy bee. But it's good to reflect on, and again, grow... whatever that growth is supposed to look like.
So friends, it's been a long, long week. My cat is laying on my keyboard, demanding some loving, and a letter from Bear is waiting to be opened.
Love to all, Light to all
DBear
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