My work, My life...

Typically, my blogs are about life in general, lessons, growth, travels, Bear, etc... I do not write a lot about work, but I am so overjoyed and filled with gratitude and that must be shared. Also, anytime I tell anyone what I 'do', they give me this deer in the headlights look. That happened in Tampa as well. In their defense, it was difficult to explain what I did in Tampa because I had so many positions (GAships typically require a lot of tasks, and my last non-GA position was building a repository for ACS linking survivorship services in Florida with the National Survivorship Center... basically, taking an inventory of services and creating a database... ok, I will stop trying to explain that one, I lose most people at repository)
Back to the here and now... The best part about my work is how it all came to fruition for me to be where I am. I have thought about this a lot.. while it was unfolding, while I was moving, after I started and learned more about the processes that took place to even create the position I hold, etc. etc. That would be a whole chapter for another time, but it is mind-blowing, heart-exploding, surreal...
So what do I 'do'? I work for the coolest agency one can be part of (well, if you value what I value and the organization values... you get the idea). VALUE. That is a good word. The agency is so valuable to our community (Native Americans in the SF and East Bay communities) At this point, I would need to go in to detail about urban indian population and how that came about... i would suggest googling relocation, BIA, terms like that... Because that is a whole other page and I want to get to the point here. Ha, me being succinct? I am still working on that (BTW, I thank goodness for the Truman process I went though at FSU to learn how to do that... even if I choose to scratch the succinctness on my blog. It's my blog, after all)
In a nutshell, we have a large urban Indian population, over 200 tribes represented in the SF area, all in need of many services including community wellness (that is my department.. we also have youth, medical, dental, etc) The areas in community wellness include clinicians (mental health), HIV testing and referrals, various projects and programs aimed at increasing HIV testing, education, prevention, substance abuse, etc. All of my loves. (Disclaimer- I am not representing my workplace in this blog, I am representing myself, just giving a background on the awesomeness of what I do on a daily basis)
So we get to me. I am under the evaluation team, newly constructed (which I also love because I have a supervisor who VALUES my input on structure and organization). We each have grants that we are assigned to as evaluators, and what that means is I am putting my undiagnosed (yet assumed by most) OCD to work. And loving it! Anyone who knows me knows that I crave structure, clarity, smooth processes, figuring things out, asking questions, running stats, playing with data, seeing results, and most importantly making a difference, affecting change, doing my part to help out where I can. I get to do this! And make a living doing it!
The icing on the cake is what happened my first week here, and is ongoing as of today. Everyone knows I love to write. Thanks to Dr. B and other professors (mainly Dr. B!), I was given to experience of grant writing, learning the process, flow, structure. So not only am I evaluator, I have the privilege of honing my grant writing skills. Day 3 of my new position (Monday will mark 3 weeks) came with a request from my unofficial supervisor (I consider her a mentor... thank you, Esther) to locate info on a smaller grant from a new funder and begin the process for this grant. Automatically, I started questioning myself, my ability, blah. That lasted for two seconds, as I then went in to "go" mode. I knew it wouldn't be asked of me if she didn't think I could do it.
Long story short, we worked on finishing that grant until 10ish last night, and turned it in today! Shortly after turning it over, I received an email from the director (my "big supervisor"- she's a thin woman, big as in head woman in charge of our department) She's allowing me to take the lead on a much larger grant! Much larger! Due July 16! Adrenaline rush like whoa, but a calm one at the same time... I am still overwhelmed with such gratitude that all of my emotions are flowing together.
So here I am, combining my skills, in an agency that shares the same values I do, and puts the community first! I do not know which I am more excited about, but I do know it has always been a dream to be able to combine my talents- writing, organizing, running numbers, leadership, community, all of it! I never thought I could find a job that would give me the opportunity to do data and writing. I didn't even have to seek this one out, it just came to me via a woman I consider my clan mom here. (I'll have to email her this, thank you Gayle)
That, in a nut shell is what I do, and why I cannot stop getting so excited about working. There are moments when I feel guilty because I haven't even walked with my masters degree yet, and this job literally fell out of the California sky in to my lap... I really need to write a whole blog about that series of events, but that could date back years. I do think of my cohort often and pray everyone is finding rewarding jobs (spiritually and emotionally rewarding) like I have. I have finally moved from the waiting for the other shoe to drop to there is no other shoe (Jess gave me that).
And now I need to go get that grant! Whoo hoo!! If you do read my blogs, please send positive energies, prayers, whatever you do in your spiritual life, up for our department and agency. We surely could use these grants to keep serving our amazing community members! Wado! (Thank you)
Love to all, Light to all
Dbear

More randoms SF is teaching me...

(disclaimer- when I say SF, I could be referring to the city or the east bay. When I say east bay, I could be referring to Oakland, Berkeley, the hills, etc)

On that note, this whole area is a gigantic megatropolis. You can drive to multiple towns (cities?) within just a few mins.
The color of the street signs determine where you are (in east bay particularly)
Never assume anything when it comes to ethnicity or gender
Polyamory- it isn't just for Mormons...
Learning how to use chop sticks is a requirement if I want to enjoy the most authentic Asian cuisine
Limes soak up grease (taco trucks)
It is acceptable and mostly necessary to barely tap a bumper when parallel parking... Actually, I think that is the purpose of bumpers
Always keep a jacket handy... But pack lightly and wear good shoes. Really good shoes. (I'm ready to donate 20 pair and buy 1 really good pair)
Cash and debit is the main way to go at most corner stores
Always keep quarters handy
Take a picture of the general area in which you are parking... You never know when they may cement a meter in to the ground and give you a ticket (yes, really happened to a coworker)
Parking tickets are $66 in east bay and $98 in the city- and you have to pay them off before you can register a vehicle
Smog checks- necessary.
Do not use your phone or read on public transit unless you are absolutely certain where you are going... You may end up at the end of the line, going in the wrong direction (not fun, but pretty sights to see!)
The smell of urine is just part of SF life, so is weed, get used to it (in this case, I do mean the city)
If you do not stop for pedestrians, prepare to be pulled over.
The above goes for bikes as well.
As a pedestrian, I can walk out in to a busy highway and the cars will stop.
At this point, please watch national lampoon's senior trip for the crossing guard scene and you will know why I giggle to myself at every crosswalk. "Go! The Cars Will Stop!" LOL
A hooker taught me how to cross the street. She was nice.
Oh, they are referred to as "sex workers"
Sex workers are generally accepted here from what I can gather. (My roommate is doing her dissertation on this, so could explain more)
Nudity is "decriminalized" in SF
I do not know the difference between decriminalized and legal
I think pot is decriminalized too? Or maybe only if you have a medical card? I'm still unclear on that. I just know not to eat anything called an edible...
This area is the most beautiful place anyone can wish to live... Mountains, beaches, lakes, trails, it's heaven really. All sides of the bay have their own pieces of Heaven and it will take me years to discover it all...
Gentrification... I had to look that up at one time.
Berkeley-ite. It's what they call them.
Hipsters and single gear bike or something like that. Basically, they rigged their bicycles to have no brakes and have to back peddle-forward peddle when stopping. I don't understand why...
Single moms by choice- coolest group ever.
6 year olds go out on the town by themselves. I've never seen such a thing. Riding the bus alone and everything. Most stick with their buddies though. I do want to tell them to respect themselves and pull their pants up. It's the old soul in me.

I'll add to this list as time goes on. Looks like I'm learning a lot for 19 days in!

Love to all, light to all

DBear

Almost three weeks later...

I am still here :) I would say week 2 in the bay, but it feels like I've been here much longer! I have had my emotional moments, my culture shock, sticker shock, whoa moments, but I feel I am adapting...
I came out here at a great time, I was able to experience my first big Pride. Words cannot describe it. I've never seen so many people so happy to just be existing in one space, all like minded, all filled with LOVE. (At this point, if you need to google Pride, go ahead) There were more people than I am usually comfortable being around, but well worth it. The only thing I can compare it to is International friends of bill conference, but a lot more pink and rainbows ha. I also learned that nudity is decriminalized in SF. Eek. This small town girl got her eyes full! I do think it should be illegal for hairy old men- gross. But whatever.
So this was my week in a nutshell- a lot of work, an injury Monday, fought off a cold all week (I won- thank you EmergenC!), then Pride. I started the festivities by volunteering and hanging with BAAITS (Bay Area American Indian Two Spirit) on Friday night and we watched the tranny march from the 4th floor patio of the SF LGBT community center. Amazing!
Yesterday, I divided my time between a pow wow in Richmond, and Pink Saturday at Delores Park. I only got to help set up at pow wow and would have liked to stay all day. The great thing about being here is we have them all the time! I always felt I was missing that part of my culture in previous cities I lived in. Here, I get to connect and embrace my roots (as we all should!) After set up, and fry bread of course, I went over to pink Saturday. It was almost too much to handle, but I quickly found some friends and watched the march from church and 16th. I did video the dykes on bikes, but my iPhone went stupid :( I'm sure I can find it on YouTube. Goal next year- find a dyke and ride on her bike. I've been told I am cute enough to make this happen.
Today, was the big parade. I have never walked in a parade like this. What's awesome is I walked with BAAITS. We had elders in dress walking with us and many in the crowd appreciated our presence. The best part is our grand Marshall is natives, and we were near the very beginning of the parade (#9 out of like 199) which we greatly appreciate as a group. Goal next year- a float for NAHC and BAAITS- we could make it a community event for our 2Spirit work! (More about the work I do later)
I also wanted to go in to a whole other discussion now about macro insults and micro insults, but I will save that for another time. Basically, I had the opportunity to educate some people in the SF ROTC contingency about dressing as natives and booty dancing... They are not native and it was not a representation I appreciated. But I did my part by letting them know, and they apologized. I did tell them we weren't attacking or angry, just wanted to educate. I will write more on that later, as I am still learning.
I also have more to share about work and culture, but basically- I am so blessed to be here.
Oh, I was questioning whether I truly belonged here just because a series of unfortunate events occurred and I was frustrated. However, I met with the medicine man Friday and he confirmed what I already knew- the Universe has seen fit that I end up here, I am right where I belong. How many people get to work in areas they are 100% passionate about, all while learning more about heritage, and connecting to amazing people? That is simply a gift, and I am grateful to accept it.
I have so much more to say, but time for Sunday chores so I can start the week off right! Excuse any grammatical or structural errors, using iPad app and being lazy :)
Love to all, light to all
DBear

My First Week in the "other" Bay Area...

... Definitely not the Tampa Bay Area! It hardly seems like it has only been a week since arriving in the SF Bay Area. Maybe because it has been two weeks since I left Florida. Or maybe because I have hit the ground running. Who knows? I arrived in Oakland last Wednesday, moved in to my temporary residence Thursday, and started work Monday. I use the term "moved in" loosely because I am not quite moved in, nor will I be until I find a more permanent place in September. Moving sucks. So keeps as many boxes packed as necessary is my goal.
I should also mention I am not sure what actual city I live in... Google says Oakland, Bing calls it Emeryville. Mail can be sent to either city and it comes here. This part of the Bay Area is strange like that... you go one block left, you are in Emeryville. A few blocks to the right, you get Berkeley. I can tell which city I am in at any given moment by the color of the street signs. Emeryville is blue, Berk is brown, Oaktown is green (I think). Our signs say Oakland. The USPS and some utility companies say Emeryville. Just a little odd note I wanted to mention.
So far, I have been in to "the city" (SF) two or three times? I have seen a friend from back home (Tally) a few times, and had several home cooked meals by friends. I love that. Move to a brand new city, make instant friends, or randomly have a friend from Tally show up because she has job interviews here. Awesome! I have also fallen in love with a 4 year old named Jacia and her mom, Cassie. They are a great family and I am glad to be included in their ventures.
The bulk of my adventures here so far have been work related or transportation related. I have learned what shoes are not going to work for work, and to pay attention when I get on a train. That last part is very important. I ended up at the end of the BART line (Fremont) when I needed to go 20 mins away to San Francisco. Oops! Glad my colleagues are understanding, and realize this Florida girl is definitely not in Florida anymore.
My job is beyond great. It is a big change for me because I have coworkers and supervisors who are all about empowering each other to make decisions on projects. This is much different than the land of academia. I was blessed with a great professor my last year or so of GAship, but it is still much different in this type of setting. It's difficult at times because I feel like I need to constantly ask if I can do this or that, for direction in general, etc.... when really, I can just do. As long as it is in line with our values and mission as an organization. Which is another thing... How wonderful is it to work for an organization that shares such vision. To have like-minded colleagues and community members. I can't say enough about that. Refreshing. I just have to stop doubting myself and realize I wouldn't be here if it wasn't my purpose and passion.
I am sure I am missing a lot about my first week here, but I am beyond tired. My body hasn't decided to fully adjust yet, so I am not sleeping as I should be. That will come. There is also a lot of excitement about being here, mixed with fear and anxiety, but that will pass.
Over the next few months, I do need to decide where I will ultimately settle. There are many pros to the East Bay... one major pro is it is much quieter than the city, and there are numerous nature spots right out my back door. I also have to consider my headquarters is in the East Bay. While I will be going in to the city to meet with other project staff, my office is here. Then, there is the financial piece. Everywhere is expensive here. Completely expensive. The food is cheap (thank you, Trader Joes and Berkeley Bowl) but the housing and transportation are outrageous. Go across the bridge and it is even more outrageous. I do love the city though. Luckily, I do not have to make that decision tonight, but it will be on my mind this summer as finding housing can be a lengthy process too.
For tonight, I am grateful to be here, extremely proud to be part of such an awesome community and the NAHC, and happy I made it here in one piece :) I am also grateful my China is adjusting better than I am. That's most important :)
Love to all, light to all,
DBear

Road trippin- the whole story

So I am finally taking time to write about the logistics of this road trip. I had to rest up enough to put together two thoughts with any amount of clarity.
We started in Florida, and decided to go up to Memphis and do the I-40W route to get to Arizona. Mainly because I wanted to see a good friend in Oxford, MS, and that was on the way to Memphis (kind of)- then I also had to see Arizona.
The original plan was a full day in Sedona and a full day in the Grand Canyon, then go up to Vegas and then Oakland. That changed. We were tired, I am still tired. We spent one day doing both places in Arizona (that makes for one very long day), and then decided to head to Sequoia National Park on the way to Oakland. That stop wasn't terribly far out of the way. Between all of these places, I must go back and hike in Sedona and Sequoia. Slide Rock Park in Sedona and Lodge Pole Campground in Sequoia. I think those are the names... The beauty of being on this coast is I can go back.
I should back track and say between Memphis and Arizona, there wasn't much I was able to see because we did mostly night driving. I wanted to see the Ozarks, but need to be considerate of my driving mate (step dad) and realize that if I stopped to see it all, I would never get to my new home. I did see a lot of Oklahoma and enjoyed that more than I expected. We only had to drive through 200 or so miles of Texas so that was awesome.
My favorite drive was through Albequerque, the night lights are gorgeous. My favorite day drive is Arizona of course. Beyond beautiful.
I will be honest here and say this long a drive came with consequences. I almost hit a deer on one of my night drives, and nearly had a panic attack... this is not good when driving a 16 footer and towing a car via flatbed tow. Slamming on brakes can flip those easily, so we are blessed to be alive. The other incident occurred in Arizona. We drove the CRV through our stops and stumbled upon a nail somewhere along the way. The tire was patched and we were back on our way. The next incident (the scariest) occurred near Fresno, in a city named Visalia. As I was driving, the road shifted and the truck started shaking. This happened a lot because well, it's a big freaking truck. But then I heard sputtering and smelled rubber... yes, blown tire. I am not sure how I managed to calmly pull over, but again, we are fortunate to be alive.
Back to the logistics of the trip... Other than our designated stops, there were many stops at travel centers and I have a new found love for the ease of these centers. Shower, laundry, food, etc., a lot cheaper than hotels! We did get tired of this and the last two nights on the road were spent in hotels.
By far, the most noteworthy part of our adventure was our last night on the road. We managed to get all the way to Tracy, Ca (an hour from Oakland) without having to back up. That's apparently the worst thing you can do when towing a car. Well, we pull in to the hotel thinking the parking lot wraps all the way around and it does not. After 15 tries, 15 near jack-knifes, and a lot of expletives, my dad finally asks for help. Who does he ask? The three guys partying it up with a case of beer in the parking lot. Of course. One has a class A license. Of course. I am sure these guys are still talking about us, as this seemed to be the highlight of their week. After about a 35-point turn, and a lot of excitement, we were safely parked for the night. The next day, we dropped the trailer in Oakland, and then finally took the truck back today. What day is it?
Goodness, I am more tired after writing this all. I am sure there is more I will recall after loading pictures and such, but for now, I am grateful to be nearly settled in Oakland. At least the truck is unloaded and back to Budget. I am still slightly resentful that the tire blew and the gas was 11 miles to the gallon. Suggestion- do more research before deciding what company to use, if you must rent a truck and do it yourself. I would say use a company, but only for things that you do not mind being damaged or lost. At least this way, I know my sentimentals are safe. I may not be able to find everything right now (that's a whole other blog... my need to have everything in it's "right place") but my things are with me.
One final note- traveling with China. I am fortunate she is such an easy cat. She literally did zero kvetching throughout this whole road trip, which is more to say for myself. (Sorry for yelling at you Jon, when driving through the dust storm! Okay, and a few other times) Back to China, she would hang in the CRV when it was cool enough, ride with us other times, sleep with us, eat when she wanted, the litter did get stinky, but it all worked out. She is now happily enjoying the pillow top bed as a queen should be, waiting for me to join. Goodnight :)

I have arrived!

My first day in East Bay has been great. I am not sure why people say Oakland is so bad. I am living on the Oakland/Berkeley border and like my neighborhood so far. I will explore more with my roomies this weekend. It isn't as walkable as SF, but I can bike to the BART in about 5 mins and take that in to work every day.
The neighborhood I work in is the type people are probably thinking of when they get that wide-eyed "you are moving where?!" look. Honestly, I do not feel unsafe. However, it is day 1, and I have had moments of questioning if moving here over SF was the right choice. I have 3 months to figure out where I want to settle, so I am sure more will be revealed. I am simply grateful I arrived safely.
The road trip blog will be posted after I arrange my notes and details. I can definitely offer tons of suggestions on what not to do :)
I start work on Monday and am beyond exciting for this opportunity. The way I see it is if so many things fell in to place after simply meeting a stranger on a bus while vacationing in SF just three months ago, then there is nothing to worry about. Clearly, I have a huge HP, always has my back. Even when I do not see the whole stair case, I can take the first step knowing that powerful fact.
I do miss my mom terribly and am hoping she will retire out west when the time comes. It is ironic that so many years are spent detesting your parents, and then they become your closest friends. I am blessed. I did arrive to a card from her and PBear mail from my Bear. Not sure I know many people who can say they get two hand written letters on their first day 3,000 miles from "home".
I've thought a lot about an old trusted friend, Paul, this week so I will end with a Paulism... "what is there not to love?"
More blogs to follow, hope you continue to follow as well. Love to all, light to all
DB

Road tripping....

Well, not even half way there, and I understand why people say your patience will be tested and you and your driving mate will hate each other halfway through. It's difficult when two people are trying to run the show. We had our first mini spat this morning, but seem to be working through it. I am thinking this will be a good bonding experience for me and "dad"... if we don't kill each other first.
So far, the details of the trip haven't been that eventful, as we are doing a lot of night driving. There are things I wanted to see (Ozarks), but could not due to timing.
The highlight of this journey so far was our stop in Oxford, MS to see my Spons. She welcomed us with a whole gaggle of our friends, cooked breakfast for us, let us rest and shower, showed me Ole Miss, and just a great visit in general.
I planned the route around that stop, which is why there isn't much to report from the road as of yet. We have been through FL, AL, MS, TN (for 5 mins), AR, and are now driving through Oklahoma. I love OK so far, surrounded by the Spirits of my Ancestors. I look forward to seeing the state since we are now on day driving. We have about 14 hours to go before Flagstaff, so we may or may not stop in New Mexico. I would love to, but we need to get to Flagstaff by tomorrow so we can see Grand Canyon and Sedona (my choice), and get to Oakland by Wednesday.
Logistics of driving has been the most interesting (and somewhat terrifying) part of this whole experience. I am guessing that if I can drive a 16 footer and tow my CRV on a flatbed, I can drive nearly anything. The biggest scare was last night- us vs. deer. I had to slam on breaks, which is really a bad idea... I thought for sure we would flip. Or at least lose the CRV off the flatbed. Neither happened, thank God. There was a very nice man who witnessed the whole deal and happened to stop at the same rest stop as us 50 miles later. He has spent years doing cross country drives, and suggested we definitely stay at 55 or below. He has seen far too many flip. So that was a nice thought. LOL. He was saying it with good intention, I am sure.
Another highlight of the trip was last night, getting to skype "home" to the best group of people I know. I was "supposed" to actually leave after visiting them last night, so I skyped in instead.
The timing could not have been better, as I had just received word my Gma was put in hospital. She never gets sick, other than her dementia. Ever. But they say she had a stroke. Now I see why I had to leave early, why mom could not come, etc. etc. If we had not left early, I would still be in Tally with Gma. Grateful mom is there with her.
This is probably the most boring blog I have written thus far, but it is early, I am still not fully awake, and it was time to update on the road trip.
Fly.