Back to home... When I first moved away, I would get homesick frequently and come home often. There was most always some drama while I was visiting and it never really ran smooth. Yet I was still excited to make those trips, and probably came home too often for someone who was in grad school and working multiple jobs. I know the stress wore on my body and I'm quite surprised I didn't end up in worse physical condition than a few ulcers. It was odd... I'd come home because I missed people, but would get here and feel hella lonely. Or I'd fight with my closest friend at the time. Or had some family drama. Or felt out of place. This was all while I was in tampa. I see now that a lot of it was me pushing people (and my hometown) away because the homesickness was no fun. I figured if I picked fights, I wouldn't be so sad to leave when it was time. That went on for 2 years but slowly faded...
Then I moved to California. Coming home took on a whole new role. Trips were fewer and farther between... Visiting was a culture shock the first time I came home. I wasn't prepared for how southern it really is here. How non-progressive Florida is... But the good parts shocked me too. Feeling safe. Peace. Quiet. Most of all, the times with my family and friends were becoming more productive. Less drama and more deep and meaningful relationships.
It's now been 3 1/2 years since I moved away and I can honestly say coming home has a completely different meaning to me today. This trip especially has caused a profound alteration in my truth and reality of what home means to me. What does this truth and reality mean for my future? More will be revealed...
Love and Light
DBear
No comments:
Post a Comment