Suit up, Show up... show your face to save your a$$

This life thing surely has a way of throwing some major curve balls. I was completely blindsided this week by devastating news... it completely shook me to the core, mainly because I really did not expect it. At all. It's interesting because I had just come out of a week or two long depression, was feeling much better, and then bam! There it is. Life on life's terms...

Yes, I was laid off from my job (I have 30 days) Yes, I was completely shocked because I am a kick ass evaluator, program planner, data analyst, writer, organizer, you name it, I can do it... but funding cuts happen and that's just where we are. I had my dream job. I lost my dream job. There are many things I could say about this, but I will not because it is all not worth my emotions and energy. I do know it is a terrible feeling going to work wondering who will be next to get laid off. If congress would have gotten their s*it together, this would have never happened. But it is what it is.. and it's life.

So what has helped me? Everyone says I am so strong. I tell you, I don't feel strong. It took all I had to get out of bed today. It took everything in me to smile and carry on like my life hasn't been turned upside down. I reach out. I take the appropriate actions. Left foot, right foot, stay sober, help others, suit up, and show up. I still cannot eat much, just because my stomach always is the first to go when overwhelmed with such stress. However, because I was able to suit up and show up, the following miracles are happening-- I met some fabulous women at a meeting a couple of hours after I got laid off, and I also got a new sponsee. I showed up to a meeting today and three different people asked for my resume. I was also able to put in an application for another job. I have people who are willing to vouch for my work and recommend me for other jobs. Things are already getting better, and it's only been 4 days. 

I will not pretend there isn't an ebb and flow here. I freaking love the community I work for, I loved everything about my job, minus a few small details. I gave it my all. And again, I kicked ass at that job. But I have to know that if that is the door that closed, an amazing window is about to open. That is just how it works in life. Hell, I landed this job by meeting a stranger on a bus when I was on vacation and wasn't even looking for a job. That stranger led me to one agency (and my grama gayle) that led me to my current agency, and I was able to move to the best city in the U.S. and work 14 months at my dream job. 

So like I said, if that door is closing, I cannot wait to see what is about to open up for me! 

There it is. This is me. Suiting up and showing up. Living life on life's terms. I am a warrior but I do cry, a lot... I just do what I was taught in the very beginning. To keep on keeping on, and don't drink or drug, no matter what, suit up, show your face to save you ass.. Miracles happen here. 

Love and Light

DBear