Excuse me if I got that one wrong, I have never really been a Bible thumper unless it's in a hymnal. I am a big book thumper however :-)
I have recently been thinking about all of the events in the past four months and how everything has led me to where We are today.
To say things have been a lot is an understatement, a vast understatement. Just over a year ago, I was laid off from the job I thought I would carry for 25 years and I headed back to North Florida from California a few months after that. I never once saw that coming but when I did get here, I got to be of maximum service by taking care of my grandmother with Alzheimer's. She is my hero, my rock, my Safety-net. Her sleep overs were the only time I felt safe in my childhood home. She helped while dad was "away" and mom had to work, she raised Jamie as our brother basically, but all of that is another story for another time.
Back in May, we decided it was time to go ahead and make the move to try her at long term care. The reason we made that decision is because if something were to happen to her (I.e. Stroke) and we could not keep her at home, she would have to go to the first available that Medicare would take and It could be somewhere awful. We wanted her at the state-of-the-art facility that Medicare would cover and this happens to be the facility.
Can I just tell you how God has shown up in this entire situation? This first two weeks, they recommended we not visit. Day 2, we get a call from a familiar friend. She was in Grandma's room visiting her own mother! Not only was Grandma having the time of her life, her roommate was her best friend from elder day stay. Her roommate's daughter has continued to go in and check on her when we can't and vice verse. The home is just a few miles from my mom and stepdad's they have activities every day including bingo and church which those of you who know my grandma now her three favorite things are bingo church and thinking well food is up there too obviously. The staff already knows mom and I by name (probably because we are up there and they may know more than we care for them to because Grandma can talk! But it's all good!)
So yes, the last four months have been incredibly difficult... passing her room in my house knowing she will not be there... Wanting to cook for her at night, have a TV show buddy, China misses her, hearing her sweet "I love you"s in the mornings, all of that.... but it's also been comforting to know she's safe and most importantly happy.
I've also realized we couldn't physically or emotionally do it lately. In these past few months, we have had SEVERAL DEATHS, I've had medical crises, lost a job, have taken in two additional cats, received a promotion from my contract job (now regional director, don't get all excited- it's in name only, no extravagant cashflow) and lately, I travel 60% of my workweek. There is no way I could manage grandma too. Mom has been the same, as she lost her brother and her father. It's tough. And we know our stress can transfer on grandma so she wouldn't be happy. At all.
So there we have it. Reflection. Gratitude. Hindsight. 20/20. As always :)
Love and light
Dbear
Buffalo blanket above!!!
Grandma and her favorite boyfriend, Mark, below, at CiCi's! Thank you for all you do you for Mark!!!
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