No really. It does!
Not only is moving hella stressful, but moving all the way from one side of the US to the next is ridiculous.
The last seven weeks have been insane and part of me wants to go back. If it didn't mean moving allll the way back to California. Goodness. Part of the stress is that I didn't take care of everything I needed to take care of before leaving.
Oops.
You know, little stuff like making sure I had the title to my car, closing my bank account, giving my former employer my new address so I could get my W-2 (because apparently mail forwarding only lasts for a month? You'd think I hadn't moved so many times in the past ten years) I guess it just comes with more responsibility nowadays.
The added stress is the extreme culture shock being back in the south. I'm being patient, I really am. I'm just not sure how much more I can take. How is one part of the country so racist and homophobic and the other part is so diverse and sex positive? It's incredibly baffling.
If it wasn't for my grandmother, my life goals, and the insanity of moving 3000 miles, I'd turn right back around. I miss the Bay. I miss the people. The lake. Ok, I'm going to stop before this turns into a pity party rather than a blog post.
Not only is it the move, it's everything that was waiting on me here. My job hasn't panned out. That's been one nightmare after another. I feel as if I'm missing every deadline there is (job related and academic admissions) and am just behind on life, mostly because other people are in control of turning in certain documents and it's just a bit fuster cluck. All of it. I'm having to practice major patience and letting go of control over outcomes. It sucks.
Am I questioning my decision? Yes. I do that with every move. Am I glad to be here with my family? Yes. Am I hella stressed? YES.
Just needed to vent
Obviously, I can't end without gratitude-
I have a nice house with reduced rent
I get to be of maximum service to my family
St. John's and choir has welcomed me with open arms
China kisses are unconditional and constant
And I do have some of those forever friends that are nice to be with here in tally
If you're one of those, thank you. That's what I need the most.
Love and light
Moving is stressful, but I think maybe this one was worth it. Of course, I am speaking from the present and not the past when you wrote this. After much trial, tribulation and sorrow, you are HERE! You are doing something you love. You have care for your health. And you have friends. I hope you are feeling happier about being back here now!
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