Theme of the week....

I probably know better than to write when sleep deprived, but here goes...
I swear the theme of my week is powerlessness. I hate that. Or it could be my controlling natures are out of control. One of my favorite quotes by... well, me. Both are powerlessness, I guess.
To say this week has been "interesting" is an understatement. A coworker tells me interesting is a code word. For what? Hmmm, crappy? hell? Not going MY way? Interesting.
So this is how my week started... still getting over the sore throat crud that keeps nudging at me and won't let me be. Unable to fall asleep or stay asleep when I do fall asleep. And slammed at work is another understatement. Mainly powerless at work... unable to do my job when I await others to do their jobs. But I will not complain because I absolutely love my job and am grateful to be working. I am just tired. Over the next 3 days, I will work 42 hours. I have already worked 30 hours in the past 3 days. On about 2 hours sleep a night. Powerlessness. To make matters worse, I have been unable to work out because my body is not allowing it. Powerlessness.
Then came the fun part yesterday. This is where my humanness comes in. I go to the knee doctor. This is nothing new, I've been doing for about 15 years now. However, it is now time to hear the words I did not want to hear... they can no longer give me my usual injections because it is now more important to "save my knee"... meaning my knee is officially crap (as if I didn't know that), they can't replace it until I'm 40, and the only solution is the most painful injection of my life, Synvisc. I got it done, but screamed like a baby. Still limping today. However, instead of acknowledging my disappointment and powerlessness, I keep on my day like business as usual. I go to a wonderful meeting last night (topic? Powerlessness, go figure) and come home. Automatically, I start raging because of my ridiculously lazy roommate and his inability to clean up his own messes... powerlessness.
All of that to come to this conclusion.... yes, I am powerless over all of these people and situations. However, I can change my reactions. I can be grateful. I can express my opinions and desires (in a respectful manner) to coworkers, doctors, roommates, etc. I do not have to keep it all in my head and rage over it all. I can discuss it or get it all out in a healthy manner. That is up to me. Most importantly, I can choose to turn it all over. OR I can keep bitching about it all. What is my choice to be? I think I will choose a Power much greater than me.
Love to all, Light to all

DBear