That only sums up the last 10 days of my existence. The rest can be attributed to an increase in my course load (12 hours grad level courses rather than 9), an increase in my work-load (3 part time positions instead of 2), and that about sums up the other 20+ days. As if I need an excuse right, it's called free time for a reason. Yet I don't have much of it going around these days. I think that setting my blog up by a daily theme set me up to slack as well... Even if I was the one that set the guidelines, I am not particularly fond of any type of guidelines. Structure, yes. Rules, no. So I will change it up and just write. I have come to realize it is the things that make me feel better that I continuously slack on... the writing daily, eating more than once a day, swimming, talking to certain friends, etc...
Knowing this doesn't change it though, doing it does. So I am starting back now. At 1:24am...
As far as the rest of this month, it really has been a lot of school, and one trip home (where I busted on rollerblades... very sad indeed). My nanny was put in the hospital the day after I got home from the last trip (see last blog), so I waited all month for a break in the schedule to go visit. I never got a real break in my schedule, but made the time to get up there. It was nice to spend time with her but the day after I got there is when I fell so the remainder of my trip was spent off of my feet. I feel it was wasted time and energy and gas money, but it was nice to at least visit with her for a couple of times, and I did get to spend 6 days with Gma which is always awesome. I was also able to work from bed and had ample time to blog... yet I didn't. If I blogged then, there would be much more kvetching than there is now.
I finally made it home to Tampa, and it's been mostly non-stop with a little bit of social time among friends, phone conversations with friends I don't see often, and a little bit of me time... yes, even if it's in the middle of the night. I've had a lot on my mind with school and decisions... future... that "f word." Trying to navigate the PhD application process (to be started yesterday o_O), decide what I really want or where I really want to be. This time last year, I was so home sick, I wanted to go back... now, I am ready to move across country. I would miss my family, but I am just ready to try some new scenery. Yet, it will likely be in my best interests academically and professionally to remain here. Time will tell. Not a lot of time to make decisions though, and this adds a lot of stress... which is why I am awake, barely, blogging in the middle of the night. Exhausted, surprised if any of this is coherent, yet sometimes you just have to write.
I do have to say this... if I ever hear anyone comment "you're just a student" to a graduate student again, especially one in an MPH program, I will have to break it down for them. May as well start now... think of what a full-time, 40 hour a week job is like... Even 50 hours a week... take that and double it. You have the life of a full time, 2nd year graduate student + three appointments (research positions) + individual research + extracurricular service activities. By all accounts, I am working about 12-16 hours a day. Yet, I am only paid for 32 hours of work. (Ok, plus tuition and insurance) So those are just my thoughts on that... had to get that out because I was reminded of the time I was called "just a student" and I was completely baffled by some peoples ignorance to the demands of higher ed.
To end the night on a more positive note... I am going to sleep now :) That's very positive for anyone who has to be around me tomorrow. Goodnight and Happy Halloween from China Doll Queen (I was a Geisha, but since my China is my queen, I renamed my outfit) Night
